Firstly, I did the coolest thing today. The hotel where the conference was held and where we stayed is clearly a beautiful and fortunate place to be for international travelers. It has the funkiest architecture and color scheme in the room and in the lobbies (purple and orange) and lovely little luxuries like a sectional loveseat (for putting one’s tired tootsies up after a long day schmoozing) and a porthole mirror between the bedroom and the bathroom. It is truly unique. It is also connected to a gorgeous mall, so even given a security concern, travelers can enjoy some fun shopping or shop for basics without ever really leaving the premises or going outside. I know of people attending the conference who live in other Latin American countries who are so excited to be here, because they get to shop for things they can’t get back where they are teaching. How relieving to find those essentials on a trip for back home!
So speaking of shopping, I was saying how I did the coolest thing today. I used my ATM card at a machine in the hotel today. My ATM card, from a Mid-Atlantic based bank, in Mexico. Not only did it work, but it gave me pesos until of dollars, so I never even had to worry about currency exchange! So I got here with nothing but plastic, and in less than a minute, I got paper pesos. I don’t know if that seems fantastic to you, but I am a big fan. I really dislike carrying cash, and love when I can track every single expense I have using my debit account leger online.
Anywho, I got the money out to buy the best gifts ever for some of the boys in my life. I got S and JJ, who is turning 2 this month (!!) Monterrey Tigres futbol jerseys. JJ’s actually came with matching shorts, which will be so cute! I figure since I am staying in Monterrey I might as well support it, and I know S is a big fan of “el tigre” the animal, so I figure he’d be keen to cheer on a soccer team by the same name. I of course have no idea how good they are. I also got myself one to remember the trip and for Halloween dress up purposes (S and I are fans of low key costumes with matching themes).
Once I got back to the hotel from shopping, I spent some quality time looking out my window. I am on the 29th floor and overlook a pretty cool highway scene, some intense mountains, and a bit of Nuevo Leon where we are. I am small enough and the window is big enough so that I can sit completely inside the pane and look out. So I painted my fingernails and toenails inside of the window and listened to some Spanish music for a bit, until…I got hungry, which is actually what inspired this post.
I was very grateful to have met some wonderful teachers from a school that have invited me to dinner for the night, but at 7pm/read 8pm to my stomach, because of the 1 hour time difference. Now I am a light eater all day until about 4pm, when I need a pretty large snack before a still sizeable dinner. That’s just how my metabolism works, for better or worse. So around 4:15, my body said food. Because I had just been shopping, and I am beginning to realize how notoriously cheap I am, I didn’t want to purchase more food prior to dinner, or nibble from the mini-bar, which costs a fortune. I did have some Mexican candy I was saving for S, but in light of his super-nice souvenir purchase just moments ago, I was less guilty about eating it myself. So I decided on a plan – I’d heard from other people that the candy bag we’d gotten with our conference goodies was well, a mixed bag, and so I thought I would do a review for you on the blog. Now, as a disclaimer, I fully admit to being a gringo (i.e. – Foreign White Person) and I also do not have any experience in critiquing food other than what my tongue and stomach end up thinking about something. I am not trying to be culturally insensitive. I love Mexico, and I have been so impressed with the people, the geography, and the culture. Just not the candy. And I am an honest person, so I am going to tell it like it is.
Here goes:
Tiliko Chamoy
Imagine expecting an Airhead and getting what feels like a congealed old packet of ketchup instead. At first it’s chewy and sweet and you think this might be some sort of appealing sour patch kids set up, because you see the packaging reads “pica” so you know it must be a little more “flavorful” soon. Then you get a hint of spice, which my gringo tongue is unable to label, and then you get old, dried ketchup taste. That is about it, except that it is also super gooey and sticky and therefore I would only give this to children if I wanted to make both them, and the parents who had to clean up after them, really sad.
Tamborindo
Okay, now that you have learned all about the Tiliko Chamoy, think of the same candy taste, only sharper and more spicy, not in the shape of an Airhead, but in a mound. It’s red all around it, but brown, mud brown in the middle, and super granular, like eating spicy/sweet sand. At least it’s not as sticky as the Tiliko Chamoy, but it’s close. Some English writing on the packaging says, “Hot and salted tamarind fruit candy,” so I guess that’s what it is. However, starving as I am, I can only eat about half of it.
La Vaquita
So I am super excited for this one after the first two duds. It describes itself as a milk caramel lollipop. Absolutely nothing wrong with that! Upon consumption attempt I find that it is much more edible than the other candies so far. The pros are that: it is edible, and the flavor is pretty pleasant and does taste a little like caramel. The cons are that it I it has no flavor it you just lick it, so you have to bite it, and when you do it gets all stuck in the cervices of my big old teeth. Then there’s the distinct cinnamon flavor, unadvertised and completely overpowering the caramel. Now I like cinnamon, but after two spicy treats from heck, I was really hoping for a soft, chewy caramel and did not get that.
Marzapan Azteca
Okay, so I have never before had marzipan, and so I don’t know what it is “supposed” to taste like. This tastes like flaky chalk with nuts. Maybe a hazelnut, so at least a yummy nut, but it is still a little disturbing, because as powdery as the thing is, I cannot make out any nut bits in it. So I am eating nut saw dust mixed with chalk, and if I am being honest, because it is so bland, it’s my favorite candy so far. I eat it all as a palette cleanser, but then just as I get the caramel out of my teeth, the marzipan forms a nice paste on the roof of my mouth. It’s time to try something else.
Bocadin
At first I am worried (and excited?) that this is a gum. Worried, because given the weird consistencies of the other candies, do I know if I will know whether or not it is a gum by consuming it? Maybe not. Excited because travelers can never have enough gum.
It is not gum. It is a chocolate covered wafer with absolutely no crunch. It’s like eating cardboard with a film of cheap chocolate on it. The Maxi I brought home for S from Venezuela was 10X better. And, honestly, I am just sad it’s not gum. But I move on.
Nutresa
Okay, so I am biased, but this is now my favorite by far. It is a chocolate coin, which we all know I have a weakness form. However the wrapper advertises “En Sabor de Dulce de Leche” and, en realidad, no es en el sabor de dulce de leche. It tastes like cheap chocolate, no different than what was scarcely covering the Bocadin. But a chocolate covered coin always win points with me.
Nucita Tri Sabor
So, this looks, before opening, like a small tub of Neapolitan ice cream. I am immediately fearful. Opening it, it smells very strongly like Neapolitan ice cream, which really scares me, because it has the consistency of a pat of butter and those things just don’t jive in my mind. Tasting it is like eating very, very thick frosting with a lot of artificial vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry flavor. I begin to worry about my impending sugar rush…and crash.
PS – Only after scooping the faux-frosting Nucita out of its tub with my finger and getting it even more sticky, I notice a little scoop especially made for the Nucita in my candy bag. It reminds me of the stick we American kids use to scoop out that chemical cheese paste to put on our crackers. I guess all countries have crazy gross out snacks and some love and other think are ick.
De la Rosa Malvaviscos Bianchi
Not soon enough, I start out on my final candy selection, marshmallows! They are in Vanilla, Strawberry, Lemon, Orange and Banana flavor, so I am not out of the woods yet. I also really shouldn’t eat these, since gelatin is made from horse hooves and as a Vegetarian, I do eat gelatin rarely, and always feel guilty, Like I am amputating the foot right from the horse myself. But for science, I decide to eat one mini-marshmallow of each flavor. I almost take my decision back when I break open the bag, and a smell not of any sort of fruit, but of “chemical” comes out. I can’t even place the chemical. It smells like hard plastic toys is perhaps the best analogy. But this is important, so I grab one of each of the 7 flavors and dig in sequentially. Vanilla tastes completely like regular marshmallow – hurray! Then I notice a trend. Strawberry tastes completely like regular marshmallow. Lemon tastes like that chemical smell at first, then completely like marshmallow. Then I realize there are 7 distinctly different colored marshmallow varieties and only 5 flavors. So I stick the purple one, the blue one, and the green one in my mouth at the same time and get an overdose of chemical taste, and a bit of an instant headache. It is time to put the yucky sugar down.
It actually feels just as exciting to stop eating the candy as it was when I was starving and first got the idea to try it out.
Herein lies another good lesson from my travels this time around – that no matter how much you love the experience of new places, there’s almost always a deeper appreciation and preference for home after a faraway trip.
I can’t wait for my Reese’s, and my “Mexican cuisine” Chipotle back home!
Hasta la vista, D
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