The pursuit of classyness

Intentionally misspelled like the movie-pun I'm going for. Does that make me unclassy?

So...

I have been meaning to write this blog post for a little while, and even took down some notes on it, so here goes.

While not brought up with tons of privilege so to speak, I was taught to be a respectful person from an early age and managed not to turn out to be too much of a terror (I speak in present tense!).

I have often wondered what other people think of when they think of a respectable woman. Certainly, I think all women should be respected, but I mean, what makes a woman someone of dignity and earning of admiration? There are so many different types of people out there, and yet I bet we all know what I am talking about. What makes any given woman classy?

My problem with the term 'classy' doesn't stem so much from classism, but from sexism. Often times its men that talk about wanting a classy woman, as if we conduct ourselves in our mannerisms simply to be desired by mates. I am personally wary of any man who states up front that someone he's with must be a classy dresser, always have her hair and make up done, and always appear most polite. In an ideal world, trust me, all of us would always come off our very best. But character quality does not demand lip gloss and hair spray, though character can make or break 'classiness.' I think classy goes beyond that, and beyond the notion that we are more 'together' or attractive when we are best groomed. The opposite might in fact be the case.

If I were to categorize classiness, I would say a classy woman could have in her arsenal any type of look, as long as she is dressing out of respect for herself, whatever she deems that form of dress to be.

I think she should also have the qualities of:

Kindness, Composure, Discretion, Education, Generosity, Optimism, and Humility.

Kindness - The only kind of classy anger I have seen is justified anger. The kind that is sticking up for someone's rights, or is briefly expressing due concern and moving on. I don't think a classy woman needs to be mean, because she wants the best for herself and others, and does not dwell on other's flaws, nor is she self-serving. A classy woman also does not rely on others to give her self-worth, so therefore she is not so insecure as to be manipulative, jealous, or deceitful.

Composure - A classy woman has tact and will express herself as appropriate to the situation, but with honesty. She can handle stress well as she can handle times of great joy with grace.

Discretion - A classy woman knows when to keep quiet (or so I have heard, ha ha.) She does not provoke gossip or bad feelings towards others, and she has intuition and sensibility about how to best conduct herself in a variety of situations. She is self-discipined and self-contained when need be.

Education - A classy woman values her mind and makes a concerted effort to expand her intellectual gifts. She wants to contribute to the betterment of society and assumes that duty through acting as a responsible and productive individual, often through her own instruction and self-reliance. She enjoys her life and therefore wants to know more about the world around her. This also keeps her able to be entertaining and enjoyable to others, which is a personal strength she seeks to cultivate.

Generosity - A classy woman seeks to share and to give without thought of receipt.

Optimism - A classy woman is not troubled by troubles. As she is educated and has discretion, she is able to handle the world's cynicism without succumbing to it, and she is able to see beyond temporary misfortune. She enjoys being cheerful in order to be a pleasant person for others' company.

Humility - A classy woman regards her talents as gifts and regards her accomplishments as possible only by good fortune, hard work, and the support of many others. She never seeks credit for what she has not done, nor does she feel shortchanged when she is not directly recognized for her efforts. She delights in good actions for their own sake, and seeks no outside reward, simply and politely accepting praise and deflecting it as appropriate.

So that's what I think. To recap, I don't think a classy woman is a well put together woman for a man. I don't think she goes to the salon every week, and I don't think she is a waif or that she needs look feminine, beautiful, or modest.

I think that a classy woman is a force to be reckoned with, because she has wisdom, integrity, self-confidence, and a loving spirit. With those things, she's unstoppable.