Under the sun

Sometimes when I get really busy, or supposedly so, in life (as in these past 2 months or so), I forget how amazing some of my roots are. By this I mean simple routines and habits that ground me in life, and help me to stay inspired to be the being I am supposed to be out there with other people and internally with myself and my God.

One of those things for me now is yoga. It's been a really pain that since the late summer, there have been fewer evening classes offered at my studio and more people taking them, and of course, I am too busy to get to any of them but the most popular. We're all there mat to mat and while I am trying to "zone in," I end up just going through the motions some of the time. One of my favorite recent classes, however, was one of these super busy kinds. What made it awesome was that after a really hum-drum class, we ended with up-the-wall relaxation (when you put your legs up the wall as you lay on the floor - this helps you to sleep well after an evening class) and then we meditated in silence for a few minutes.

I don't think I have ever meditated like this before. It was dark (literally), communal, and after a lengthy prep time of yoga asansa (posture-taking) and pranayama (appropriate breathing), I didn't feel forced to think. Instead, I kept intent on breathing past any thoughts that would come my way. I felt like a got into a new place in myself, that will be waiting there for the next time that I am ready for it.

Another root of mine is listening to people more wise than me encourage me to be my best self. This summer, and really since coming to New England, I have tuned into the lead pastor at NorthPoint Community Church near Atlanta, Georgia as he gives his community their weekly message. Now while I have lots of (perhaps self-righteous) reasons why I would never want to live in the southern region of the US, I think that if I ever moved to Georgia, I would be in good hands with this church and their leadership.

I'd gotten behind week by week, and now I have about 2-3 messages left to listen to before I am caught up with the church's regular schedule. I think a lot of my slacking has been self-indulgent - I feel that I am so busy that I sense my life must be full enough without this healthy rountine to fill in any missing pieces. In reality, I probably needed this piece of my life more than ever, as I have been meeting new people, traveling far away from home, and making some pretty big decisions these days that are relatively unique to me, like how to save and share my money and how to manage a department at work.

I really got excited this week when Andy (the pastor) wrapped up his sermon series on time speaking about Ecclesiastes. This is the "eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die" book of the Bible, as quoted by the Dave Matthews Band. It reminds me that 3000 years ago for a king on the Sinai pennisula (Solomon), the same questions were swirling around human hearts as for me and my friends right here, right now. What do we do with ourselves after we have made mistakes or experienced achievements that leave us feeling only partially fulfilled? How can we improve that reflection of ourselves when we look in the mirror and do not see exactly our ideal self looking back? Solomon says there is no hope to look for fulfillment "under the sun," because there is plenty of hypocrisy, injustice, and plain mediocre here that cannot be corrected in a lifetime of human effort. Instead, Andy suggests, that young people like me, "Pour your extra time into something that has purpose beyond the bookends of your life."

Now, for me, I certainly don't know what that looks like quite yet. I am open to suggestions! But it's a steep challenge for someone who feigns busyness even in the luxury of time without children, medical problems, money problems, or and major life crises. I mean, I do feel busy, I do feel stress, but then again, I am in the process of living. It's natural to feel such things, if not in one part of life, than in another. Just because that stress comes from positive circumstances does not mean it isn't there. At the same time, wanting to fulfill a destiny means sometimes, and perhaps often, needing to exceed the general expectations of one's self and one's society, who might say that the absence of illness is health. It is sometimes more challenging to act with courage and greatness when one is well than when one feels weak, and I am learning that more and more.

As I go off to another big challenge in another foreign land this week, I am going to remember that my purposes are greater than myself, and my routines are precious reminders of who I am called to be.