I am

right now...
i stole this from brandilyn! it looked like fun.
__________________________

i am...DMV, always seeking.

i think...a lot, too much, more than I should.

i am happy...when i am connecting with or helping someone, or laughing about something silly.

i have...an amazing little family for which I am so grateful.

i miss...climbing tall pine trees.

i fear...not taking the opportunities that were meant for me.

i feel...the momentum of my life rebuilding.

i smell...the soil from my newly planted wild flowers.

i usually...set my alarm really early, but press the snooze button.

i search...for God’s fingerprint in every situation and relationship.

i wonder...how good i can really get at snowboarding.

i regret...not saying something nice when there’s a chance to.

i love...my cat, my boyfriend, my family and my lifelong friends.

i care...what others think of me, but I don’t define myself by it.

i tell...the truth 99.9% of the time.

i worry...about retirement.

i am not...coordinated.

i remember...field hockey two-a-days, and am now grateful to work only when i want to.

i believe...in a God who loves us and never lets us go.

i sing...with joy, no matter my pitch.

i don’t always...practice what i preach, mostly when it comes to patience.

i don’t like...feeling like i’ve missed something.

i write...about my journeys, small and big.

i win...when i’m content with what is.

i lose...what’s important whenever i fail to consider others.

i dance...with S, and it’s the best.

i wish...we could all support one another without judging one another.

i never...give up.

i listen...for anything that wakes me or my soul up.

i don't understand...chemistry, starting with moles.

i can usually be found...thinking about work, even on the weekends.

i need...discipline.

i forget...so often how perpetually giving the universe is.

Lazy Sunday

Guess who’s tucked himself in for a lazy Sunday nap?

Happy weekend!

The skinny on skin

I mentioned earlier this year how being in my last twenties (gulp) got me more serious about taking good care of my skin. Though maybe I should have started earlier, I made a commitment this year to wear sunscreen on my face all the time and to develop a healthy skincare routine.

Every day now I wash my face with an oil-free cleanser and moisturize with oil-free SPF 15-35 lotion. At night, I wash my face with the same cleanser, add a round with a pore cleansing lotion if I’ve gotten particular sweaty or grimy, and apply anti-wrinkle cream to my forehead, eye areas, and where my smile lines (not frown lines!) are.

I’ve just started using a cucumber and vitamin eye treatment as well, to reduce puffiness and circles as the worst of my seasonal allergies flare up.

Once I week, I add onto this routine a more thorough cleanse, which removes built-up impurities over the week, especially exfoliates, and leaves my skin feeling baby smooth. I use a Biore nose strip and a pore mask, especially over my most oily spots.

The result is a routine that is manageable, skin preserving, and fun!

Song for spring

Grab me

Take ahold

Don’t let me go

Wasted hours in the semi-shade

Seedlings dropping down

Grab me

Take ahold

This world keeps turning

Take ahold

On being merry

As the light streams in through the windows of my home, I am thankful for the simple things, like having a home and being surrounded by the beauty of nature, family, friends, and of course God's grace and love.

I know that not all days will feel like good days, but that all my days are a gift.

Hope this week has been a gift for you as well, and if there are hard times in your present, please know that there is joy on the other side of sorrow.

With the band

It’s hump day, which means it’s half way through a work week and time for a little in-between-the-daily-grind fun. For S and I, that means getting together for band practice. We are in the less-than-renowned Guitar Hero band The Chubby Chasers.

Yes, we know this isn’t a real band, and yes, we know what the name means. We happen to like promoting a healthy body image for our young, impressionable, and often-eating cat child. In our band is D, me, or “Chubbette” on lead vocals, S, or “Chubby,” on the guitar, and O the cat, or “Chubs,” band mascot, on the floor swiping at the microphone cord or nipping at our ankles while we play.

If our band ever put out an album, which is low on a list of all-time possibilities, but never say never, the following songs would be on it. Not all of them are Guitar Hero tunes, but they are all highly likely to be belted out sporadically by any member of our family in the car, upon walking in the door, or out very much in public somewhere. How else can we expose our talents?

If you’ve got the mid-week blues, enjoy the below playlist, which will be sure to cheer you up!

The Chubby Chasers – Greatest Hits of the Living Room

  One Direction: What Makes You Beautiful

  Taylor Swift: Mean

  Adele: Someone Like You

  LMFAO: Yes

  Gotye: Somebody that I Used to Know

  Jimmy Eat World: The Middle

  Queen: Somebody to Love

  Don Henley: Boys of Summer

  Lynyrd Skynyrd: Sweet Home Alabama

Clothes with a cause

There aren’t all that many things we do on an everyday basis that show the world what we stand for as clearly and simply as wearing clothes. Clothing is a fashion statement for some and just basic necessity for others. “Clothing with a cause” is an incredible hybrid between those two poles.

I think it is truly inspiring when people are able to incorporate their values into all aspects of their lives, like a “green” person who lives in a home with solar panels, recycles mercilessly, bikes to work, and eats local and vegan. While we might not be able to do it all when it comes to living our values out like this each day, I think clothes that support the causes you’re all about are a wonderful way to spread positive messages to others, and to look pretty groovy doing it. Here are a few of my favorite clothes with a cause:

She Dances Tees

She Dances is an organization that provides holistic restoration for young girls who have been trafficked and sexually exploited in Honduras. Profits from their clothing sales support the operation of a safe home for these girls.

She Dances believes that every girl deserves a life of love, opportunity, family, and a hopeful future - that every girl deserves to dance in freedom.

She Dances tees are dreamily soft, and carry the important message of She Dances on them either through printing of the She Dances name on the shirts themselves, or the printing of the She Dances motto “Freedom is here.”

Tom’s Sun Glasses

Most people know about Tom’s shoes, but the idea of one-for-one at Tom’s has been carried over to glasses as well, which is wonderful.

Not only are the sunglasses Tom’s sells some of most attractive pairs out there, but the purchase of a pair equals eye care for someone else in need.

Knowing a child or adult out there has sight in part because of you is a beautiful thing.

Five Bamboo Dresses

Many of us hope to leave the world better than we found it, but with our constant consumption of the earth’s resources, it’s hard to keep this promise.

Five Bamboo clothes are made from a vastly renewable clean, green resource with hardly any waste produced in the manufacturing process.

Let’s hope that more and more companies will have the vision and heart to consider mother earth as they create for its people.

Restaurant review: Acapulco's

This weekend S and I went south of the border, or if we're being honest, south on I-95 just a bit to one of our favorite Mexican restaurants - Acapulco's.

Though it's a chain and nothing too fancy, we were glad to find this place last year when we came to the shocking realization that our quaint/not-all-that-cultural little New England town had no Mexican food. This was before the Fat Cactus Catina opened up, and we were hungry for chips and salsa in the worst of ways.

Acapulco's gets too thumbs up for multiple vegetarian options, huge portion sizes, a pleasant bustling atmosphere, and of course those complimentary fresh, hot chips with homemade salsa.

Our wait staff was also very friendly and called us "señores," which added nicely, I thought, to the kitschy feel of the place.

It is so nice to have the opportunity for a date night on a beautiful spring evening, and fun to visit a favorite place where we're sure to come away stuffed to the brim with guacamole and leftovers for the fridge. It's good times like these that make the harried Mondays of life easier to take!

Sprouts!

It’s been a week since the world turned into spring all of a sudden, and I decided it was time to become a farmer.

Last Sunday, I rushed out to Target, loaded up the cart with planters, MiracleGro and little seedlings, and I got down to digging.

A week later, with some pretty routine watering and a little bit of warm weather here and here - sprouts!

I am so excited to see that at least some of the plants (tomato, bean, and wild flower) I’ve tended to have not yet died.

I am anything but a green thumb.

I’ll keep you updated as my DIY balcony-turned-plot-of-farmed-land project continues.

It's the weekend

Have some fun!

My little buddy

Today O the cat stuck right by my side.

I worked from home today, and it was as if my little guy had saved up all his loneliness from our vacation last week and needed all my love all at once.

And I was happy to give it.

Pinterest psychoanalysis

Craving a creative spark, I finally poked around at Pinterest today. Though I admire the idea, I can't say I can get on the bandwagon. There's something off to me about organizing my inspiration. The only art I can really make comes from a fundamentally messy place, I guess.

I did stick around enough to pull out a few pins that I randomly liked, but when I put them all together, I felt like they were telling me to walk down the aisle, honeymoon somewhere with terrific sunsets and charming little walkways, and to have a baby!

I think I'll stick with Google Images for now.

Perfect spring

Spring time is a lovely time to dig into life.

This is not my porch planter. I wish. But I did get a chance to plant wild flowers, tomatoes, and mixed beans on the balcony, so I hope that by summertime we'll be in business! 

There’s so much change in the world to become aware of, if you can sit back and take bits of it in at a time. Spring’s a time of movement and action too, and it’s hard not to be a part of the bustle.

This vacation I was on the lookout for a great pair of boat shoes. I finally settled on this pair, and I love them! 

S and I got the opportunity to vacation this spring, to visit with our families and to relax. It was a blessing to spend Easter with them, and to catch up in general.

Easter Saturday at my parents' S and I colored eggs. Here is the prettiest one of them all!

Y Family Photo Spring 2012

I have begun to realize that, as the weather becomes warmer and the seasons change so quickly, I am in a lucky phase of my life. Though we were on vacation this past week, really I am on vacation all the time in some ways.

After all that food on the road, it is great to have a homecooked meal again!

When I have kids, my life will be so much busier, and I’ll have responsibilities that take away from the chance to unwind as often, and the chance to do things my own way.

This realization helped me to enjoy my vacation time so much more - to watch as the flowers bloom and the sun comes out.

Historicity

And he departed from our sight that we might return to our heart, and there find Him. For He departed, and behold, He is here. - St Augustine

In the tradition of being a March bookworm, I was also a bookworm for lent. I decided that instead of giving up something, I would spend the time that Jesus spent preparing for his ministry in preparing my heart for his arrival this Easter.

I did so in perhaps an unconventional way, by exploring the historicity of Jesus' life and the faith that he initiated through his teachings, death and resurrection. In doing this, I had to place aside some preconceived notions and even my belief in bits and pieces, to have an open mind about what two historians, with two very different interpretations of who Jesus was and what he did, said was truth.

Though at places I struggled to read this book, I really appreciated it. I do not consider myself a cookie-cutter believer, but when it comes to the basics, I am quite traditional. I definitely gravitated more toward the conservative scholar's viewpoints on foundational tenets of belief - that there was a bodily resurrection, that Jesus is truly God, and so forth. But even a conservative historian will make statements that shock his faith family in the balancing of scripture with the "cold hard facts" of ancient world context.

I found it affirming to see that neither scholar put much stock into whether or not Mary conceived Jesus virginally. To me, Mary's exploits, or piety, do not have a bearing on who her son was. I also don't feel the need to keep a tally of all the prophecies Jesus fulfilled - he'd be my redeemer if he rode into Jerusalem on a moped.

I wrestled with some of the intriguing possibilities that the liberal scholar pointed out - for instance, how an account can be true without really having happened. Depending on how you see the world, you might assent to this idea immediately, or you might not buy it at all, even after trying to genuinely consider such a plausibility for a good long while. Can a story be true and not historical? The liberal scholar makes this point for accounts beyond Jesus' parables, which are obvious illustrations meant to be metaphors. He suggests that many of the resurrection sightings, and Jesus' less practical miracles - like turning water into wine, are stories that point out truths about Jesus without ever happening in real time. For the scholar, these parts of the Bible are real without really having happened. Other people, whether in defense of a literal scriptural reading or in mocking of it, would call anything in the Bible that didn't really happen lies, heresies, fairy tales, or wish fulfillment. And so they might be.

But where I loved the book was in its ability to take me into the world where Jesus lived. After reading, I could see him more clearly as a Jewish man pointing to the Jewish God, or as I believe, the universal God, our creator and the one who loves us.

I came through this lens of history to have greater faith that Jesus acted like a Jewish messiah, he taught and served like this messiah, he died with the purposes of this messiah, and he actualized this messianic purpose through the life-restoring sacrifice of himself for creation. Even if you believe Jesus was only a man, setting him within his historical context, its clear he acted with the heart of his God.

Easter is the result of the historical Jesus and the divine Jesus, celebrated by believers and by all who find renewal in his way, his life, and his heart.

Life update

Happy April!

I've been thinking long and hard about what to post recently, because two things have given me blogger's block:

1) My camera battery charger has run away, leaving me no carmera and a dreath of pictures to post...and thus 90% of my inspiration zapped, and

2) If I am being honest, I have been pretty boring lately.

Perhaps it is a blah start to the year for me, but this quarter's been full of bookwormish reading, working on the weekends, and spending quality time with S. I experienced fewer winter dolldrums this year than last, thanks to a rejuvenating trip to Colorado for snowboarding in the Rockies, visits with my GYC friends, and trips for work that kept me on a plane as I kicked off my 27th year of life.

I suppose March has slowed me down the most, with no flights out anywhere, just as what little winter we had faded away the snowboarding season and much of my desk work wrapped up nicely. But here, for what it's worth, are some of my March life updates:

I got promoted. Since I was 15, I wanted to work in the field I now work in, doing the kind of work I do. It sounds crazy, but before I took a big vacation that year (international, multi-week), I wrote down a prayer that I said every night I was traveling that summer, asking God to make possible - through scholarships and perseverance - the opportunity to do what I get to do now. This promotion is seriously the icing on the cake concerning a trajectory I began over a decade ago to improve the health and lives of others through research and prevention. I'll never be done growing in my vocation, but this was a pretty beautiful fulfillment of my hopes and dreams all this time.

I paid off my car. Don't let people tell you it can't be done. At first I had no money, and no plan. But I researched every car sold in America for under thirty-thousand dollars. I lived on an entry-level salary (no raise from said promotion as of yet), and saved for nearly a full year straight with a strict budget without allowances for new clothes, eating out, or anything but bills and emergenices. I paid over 50% cash upfront, and refused to finance long term. I paid it off 6 months early, and now instead of a depreciating asset I own interest on, I have a working vehicle with a 9.5 year warranty, and a place to live should my amazing, prayer-answered dream job fall through and I'm forced to become a wondering songstress. 

My cat turned 3 years old. I am not a young, vibrant woman afraid to blog about how much she adores her cat. Or about how much of her relationship with her boyfriend, co-workers, family and friends revolves around discussing or amusing said cat. O's a gem of an individual - crazy, swipy, meowing, and we learned this year, a bit of a freak for a can of Starkist tuna (his birthday "cake" for the big 0-3). People might not understand it, but this cat is my child, I am his mother, and I'm so happy he joined the S&D family as a little tike nearly two years ago and that we get to call him ours.

I'm running again (kind of). I ran last week. I think it was my second time in the gym this entire year, and certainly the first time I've gotten serious about my physical fitness since my 10K back in October 2011. The snowboarding season allows me to knock off 3 hours of excercise a day, two to four days a week easy, without a shred of the normal discipline required to get me on the treadmill or the running trails. But alas, there is no snow, there are no excuses, and so I'm starting to log the miles again. In the otherwise stagnant travel month of March, at least my feet are keeping a move on.

So that's me. For now. I hope your March was full of fruit, and that your April is even fruitier, as I hope mine will be. And that for all that is good and pure in this world, I find my camera battery charger sometime soon!