Friday, August 16, 2013

In an effort not to be in this situation myself...



...I am commencing my usually-annual blog hiatus for work training season. Otherwise known in these quarters as "work-life balance" double gut check time.

While I would love to think that I could keep up right now with all I endeavor to do "off-season" from work in the same ways I do it , that's just not possible for the next month, and I suppose my form of "balance" looks a lot more like prioritization and knowing one's own limitations up front.

So goodbye blog, for just a little while. Soon enough, I'll be back with Beautifully-Illustrated Thought Provoking Questions, marathon countdowns, dancing mishaps, and other musings about the mesmerizing world in which our God has been gracious enough to place me.

Until then, be well and hugs.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Body, mind, soul

Chickpea, spinach, and sunflower seed salad with rosemary and provolone cheese. No fire (alarm) needed.

I was recently asked by a friend how my nutrition and diet had changed since I began training for the Baltimore marathon (October 2013 - woo woo!). While we were running essentially a half marathon at the time, I didn't give the question due merit. In my mind, nothing has really changed; my eating schedule has always been, if I feel fat and crappy, I eat less, "better" and exercise more, and if I feel too thin and/or tired out, I increase my intake of food and take it easy. Simple enough.

However, reflecting on the past seven months, I've realized that there were some significant changes in my eating/living patterns, and I suppose some might find these interesting, especially among those everymen and women types out there considering how to take big steps like a marathon within an otherwise humdrum/non-competitive athlete lifestyle. So, thinking a bit more on the subject, I've compiled some of the lifestyle changes I think have been most relevant/effective to my current success with marathon training (no injuries/up to 20-mile long runs), and I'd be happy to share them here:

I stopped drinking caffeine.
This one is actually huge. I had my first drink of black coffee at a hotel breakfast bar on vacation with family when I was nine. It made me feel grown up, and like I as headed toward productive adulthood. I kid you not. Since then, I'd increased my caffeine intake exponentially, from lots of soda in high school to lots of fancy-pant iced drinks in college to any way I could get it upon entering the work world. I'd tried to stop several times, and even had a successful stint of abstinence during the summer of 2010 that quickly ended in relapse once the work year ramped up that fall. But on May 18, 2013, I stopped, for good, after a stomach bug had made it impossible to consume anything of substance for several days and I felt like utter crap anyway. It might have been the best thing that could have happened to me, fate-wise for my running. No caffeine - after a three-to-four-week pretty bad period of withdrawal, has meant more sleep, better sleep, more routine sleep, healthier appetite, more stable mood and energy, smoother attention, less anxiety, and much more of a sense of control of my life. Plus fewer migraines (after the first month, when there were so many more). But now, fewer migraines! Stopping an unhealthy and life-controlling four-to-seven cup a day habit also helped me with self-discipline and making other, consistent and challenging life choices, like the choice to keep running even when I just don't want to some days.

I started waking up early/roughly the same time each day.
I never thought I would get to this place. However, no coffee has helped. Also, I suffered from a few months of pretty intense insomnia after my break up last year, and this time of getting to sleep at 3 or 4 and waking up at 8 or 9 for months on end gave me the perspective I needed to realize that sleep really is important and I need to prioritize it. I definitely go to bed at different times of the night - sometimes as early as 10 and sometimes as late as 2 or 3 still. But my having my circadian rhythm back for the first time since my teens means I'm waking up by 8 or 9 on Saturdays and Sundays, and that those early days getting to work by 8 and waking up around 6:30 are really not that bad. Plus, I run with people, and I run long runs, and that fellowship/discipline means getting to the Harvard Square Starbucks before 7 on Thursdays and to see Neena and run along the Charles, and getting to Brookline before 8 on Sundays to do incline training with Chris in Newton. I've discovered that as glorious as it is to sleep in on a weekend, what's even more glorious is that same feeling of cozy comfort under the covers at night, after a long and rewarding day that started with a great conversation with a friend or seeing the sun come up. It's cheesy, it's unbelievable and it's true - I am not a morning person, but I am now a person who loves to take advantage of the morning, and is for the first time in my life perhaps, physically capable of doing so. 

I got active six or seven days of the week.
For the past few years, working out meant two to three days a week 20-90 minutes a day. The rest of my life was spent at the office, or lazing about. Sure, snowboarding changed things a bit in the winter, but essentially, if I wasn't moving for exercise in the past, I was staying very, very still (and probably eating chips). Once dancing got hoisted upon me (or so it felt), and my running schedule advanced, I realized that I was often on my feet more hours of a typical day than not. Yesterday, for example, I ran from 7:20-9:40 in the morning, danced from 7:00-9:30 at night, and spent my afternoon traipsing around Boston site seeing and running errands. Some days I do feel over scheduled and tired, but most days that added activity of lessons, social dance, light jogging or training runs seem to blend into a schedule that in the past was freer than it needed to be. Dance helps with the flexibility my running needs, running helps with the endurance dance needs, and it all helps me to recover quicker from particularly strenuous days that would feel much more extreme had I not picked up the pace.

I joined groups related to my fitness and hobbies.
Doing things that require meeting other people leads to other people sharing greater and greater opportunities to do more things. Case in point, joining one running club led me to get invited into another, getting encouraged to sign up for two additional races and volunteer for others after my marathon, and got me to find a new informal group of friends to train with on off days. Going out with a friend dancing led me to invitations to private lessons, group lessons, and social events all over the city. I can dance in my living room and run on a tread mill, and I suppose the benefits of staying active might have been much the same, but by joining group the diversity and enjoyment I get out of my training, and the life that gets put into the overall experience, is so much deeper. Plus, there is friendly accountability everywhere, which means I don't have to be as disciplined as I would alone.

I started making most meals at home.
I moved and my income shrank my more than half. I also was spending most of my social time in activities, as opposed to asking people out to eat. Plus, being busy, I have missed my new, little single person apartment, and it's been fun to get a few hours there a day to clean, read, and try out recipes that only occasionally set off the fire alarm. And, have I mentioned that I am hungry around the clock these days? Sometimes eating in is the only solution to being starving right this second and needed to rectify that with whatever food is ten feet away or closer. But I think making meals at home forced me to eat healthier and with more variety. I mix things up a lot a home out of necessity - "well, these three food items are going to go bad in the next two days, so let's make something out of them." Also, when grocery shopping, I often have very healthy intentions that I don't have when stopping out for lunch or dinner somewhere. So chances are, when I eat in, I'm forced to go with something good for me, something including multiple food groups, and something that satiates.

I eat lots of unprocessed and/or uncooked foods.
This is not because I am on a tirade to be some health nut. This is because 1) uncooked foods are faster to consume, 2) my body craves nutrient rich, water-heavy food these days, and 3) when I cook things, I tend to burn them. When I buy things, I may be less of a junk food junkie than I used to be, but I am still super-lazy/very clear on my limited chef-ing abilities, so my meals turn out fill of fresh fruit, nuts, leafy greens, raw veggies, and dry good that only require a quick chop and dice or an even quicker heat up in the microwave. Maybe with an egg on top.

I drink water constantly.
Again, I thank God and my lucky stars for stopping my use of caffeine. Really, these whole post could be entitled, "What happened when I got sick in May after registering for a marathon." I say this because, I only drink so much water now because I stopped drinking coffee. It wasn't originally about hydrating, it was about an addictive habit. I needed to have a cup in my hands, a drink on my lips, for weeks and weeks after quit coffee. I still fantasize about caramel machiattos and find those little cardboard cup holders for a warm drink just darling. I begrudged water so much when I first made the transition, but it was something in a cup I could consume with at least as much vigor as coffee, so in those initial hardship days, that's what I did. Soon, I started realizing just how good a well-watered body felt, and as the days stay warm and the runs get longer, there's been no turning back.

When I feel tired, I sleep.
I've been able to nap again. Adenosine-wise, my brain allows it. Perspective-wise, I know my body's earned it. After busy days, I can't help it.

When I feel hungry, I eat.
Eating was always fun, but now it has become a well-rounded pleasure for me. My body thanks me after a good meal.

I work out no matter my mood, attitude or physical state.
This is huge, and it took a while to develop as a discipline. I registered for the marathon last year, but 16 days into 2013, I still hadn't run. I held myself accountable on Facebook. I still ran maybe 2-3 times a week max after that, and at slow speeds, short intervals, and only when the rest of my week was easy going. I took a vacation and 11 days off from running. I made excuses or put all my running off until the weekend. Then I stopped all of that, based on many of the items above, but most importantly getting involved with other people who ran, which made me run too. It's a lot easier to let myself down than to let a group down. And it's freeing to be honest enough over time to say, "I feel horrible, this run's going to be miserable, but it's going to get done," as opposed to, "Eh, not today." By making fewer excuses, I realized I was protecting myself, my ego, and my ability to be a vulnerable person more, not less. I got brave enough to say "I don't feel like it, but I'm doing it anyway," and I got trusting enough to give my faith to the group run.

When I start to feel physically uncomfortable, I address it immediately.
I know that sick days, injuries, headaches, allergies, or other physical messes could take me out of the ability to run my marathon with my best friend. I've also learned that there are different types of physical endurance and pain - the kind that can actually make us better and feel stronger over time, and the kind that we don't need to bear with if we can avoid it. I used to tough out things like headaches or itchy eyes, but now I don't see that kind of behavior as a badge of honor. I want to feel as good as I can possibly feel, and I want to give my body a fighting chance for a great performance or a long time on the dance floor each day. I'm willing to endure soreness, blisters, and the fatigue that comes with hard work and progress, but I'm happier than I've ever been to nip those other irritations in the bud and get on with living my life. I'm so grateful for my health and I'm now actively working to experience it every day.

Again, when they question of "how I've changed," I didn't think I had at all. But upon reflection, there have been plenty of slow or subtle changes in how I've lived over the course of this past year that have helped me feel ready to finish this marathon in October.

This reflection's not going to resonate for everyone, but if I could summarize it succinctly so that it might be more powerful for most, I would do so in this way -

Change. Change yourself today. Don't ask yourself if you can do it. Be Nike. Just do it. Attitudes follow actions and with calculated risk, looking before you leap is over rated.

Also, trust. Trust your life to work itself out when you have the faith to live it.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Egomaniacal epiphany of the day

I just realized that right now, I am no good for anyone, in any romantic relationship, with the exception of one person, for whom I am just perfect at this juncture. And we all know at this point in these sentences that this person is me. I am really good for me. A fantastic fit, and one I with which I am sublimely happy.

Monday, August 12, 2013

The Dark Triad: Bad research is a hoot


An example of ridiculous "research." As soon as you point out how the evil Rhinos we're emulating in the discotheques were recently spotted in Africa, you've lost my respect. You've made me laugh, but really, just go to bed, early riser.

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Sundays with Spock

This is mostly for you, parents, and okay, a wee little bit for me too:


Spock running.

Saturday, August 10, 2013

I Am A Renegade - Shauna Harrison

I can't really get enough of this woman and how inspiring she is, at multiple levels. One of the most important things I think we can do for ourselves is to keep our eyes ahead of us to people who are examples for us. Don't get discouraged about what you can or cannot do, become inspired about how others are paving the path that you are becoming brave enough to run, or the mountain that you're becoming crazy enough to start climbing. Thanks again, Shauna!

Friday, August 9, 2013

I get free wifi at the beach.

I love, love, love, love, love, love, love where I live.

Now back to a weekend (this was written last Saturday) of data entry, Pandora, and toes in the sand right outside my front door.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Creator

This is why artists, all artists, from the little and lame (read: me) to the fantastic need to keep creating:


How inventive, beautiful and pure is this?!

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Thought Provoking Question: 9 of 25


Wow, way to smack me in the head with a question my constitution makes it practically impossible to answer, TPQ #9. I hope someone reading this gets to see the day when I stop calculating risks and rewards. In fact, I hope we all do, it's just improbable.

I gotta say here, again, it's time to stop calculating when it's about love...which is really all the time. And much of the time, it's gonna be excruciating to stop calculating personal risk and perceived benefit of loving one another without strings attached, but the thing is, it's always the right thing to do.

There's a girl in Zambia who shares my birthday, and I know her because I am working with a project that provides her community with school supplies, clean water, health care, etc. I wrote her a letter, which I have yet to send her, because she's just four years old right now. But I have the letter waiting, and as I was cleaning up during my move, I found it again and I read it to myself. The synopsis is this:

God's love to you is infinite. It's perfect. It's always there in abundant supply. And if you can give away the love you receive from God to others, it will never be in vain. It might not result in the outcome you might like, but it will always be transformative, for the greater good. Ultimately, it will never fail, and so you need never regret acting out of love.

If I could actually live that, it'd be great. It requires dying to self, and letting the self be sustained by the love I claim to trust in so much. It's a great lifetime feat, and I need to pray for the willingness to pursue it.

Monday, August 5, 2013

Stepping

"...often, stepping outside your comfort zone is not careless irresponsibility, but a necessary act of obedience." - Andy Stanley

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Sunday, holy Sunday

And today I don't run or dance at all. Tendons, you are welcome.

Instead, I'm checking out a church in my new area and spending the day in retreat with my singing group. Perhaps I'll get some time to reflect on life too, but that's a bonus. I've actually begun journaling, which is sort of ludicrous considering the amount of self-reflection I do here, but it is what it is, and helps me to deal with the fact that, for all the new activities and opportunities I'm inviting into my life, there are new relationships too, with all their beautiful complications and my accompanyingly endless musings.

Be inspired today. By the little and the infinite.


PS - Just kidding, I ran 10-plus miles today. The manifesting made me do it.

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Direction

Today I run six or seven miles in the morning, then spend the afternoon/evening in a spin cycle of ballroom, swing and latin instruction and social dance spanning from three in the afternoon through two in the morning. I am a big proponent of thanking my legs and feet for all the unbearable stuff I am putting them through these days. They are being such champs!

I am not sure how I got here, only that manifesting works. Not in a new age-y kind of way, but in an a matter-of-fact, Andy Stanley "your direction determines your destination" kind of way. Right now I say "yes" to things that keep me active in my body and in my community, so those opportunities keep appearing, and I keep taking them.

I am both a good and a bad committer to things. I tend to get excited about an idea in the moment, and I can really pull out progress in a short period of time. Then my motivation, or more often, my confidence in my ability to continue, flags. Other people help so much with this though. I used to think perseverance was a lonely discipline. The more I realize my community here in Boston, however, I take note of just how many people have pushed me to continue with new goals, dreams and joys. I am so thankful for them, and so pleasantly surprised that I don't actually have to do the heavy lifting of inspiration and taking action on my own.

I'm a slow runner and a counter-intuitive dancer, but I believe those that's going to change so long as I keep opening myself up to a communities that embrace me as I am. With them, I'm committed to the direction of my dreams.

Friday, August 2, 2013

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Okay...


...this and the rest of this lady's videos are hilarious. Also, I don't want to online date ever.