Happy 2010

I am so thankful for the year 2009. In it I saw one of my best friends get married, and I got to experience her family's beautiful culture in a big way on New Year's 2009.

I wrote a thesis, finished graduate school, and saw the first bi-racial US president sworn into office.

I worked three jobs simultaneously and did pysch experiments in order to get pocket money for Starbucks. I adopted a cat, and lived in a Baltimore row house for a month.

I became a vegetarian and have only eaten a few pieces of chicken, one hot dog, some Slim Jim's, and some accidental "sweet bread" and shrimp the whole year. So I saved our environment over a ton *literally* of carbon emissions. In sheer size and quantity, it's by far my biggest accomplishment this year.

I also moved to New England like I've wanted to for a decade and met, very surprisingly, my financial goals for the year to get a job that I love making X amount of money and to start a personal retirement account so I don't have to rely on stocks or a 401K. I am entering 2010 with no credit card debt, after an extremely tumultuous financial year. It's not without it's ups and downs (pro: I witnessed a beautiful New England autumn; con: through my windshield mostly during my 45 minute commutes down the interstate to work), but this choice was the right choice for me, and I love my life here.

I have laughed much with friends and family, and have kept those I love near to me. I don't know where I would be or what I would do without them.

I have gotten closer to God and more bold in loving God in so many different ways this year. Making peace with the peace that indwells all of us is a life-long journey, and now I can pursue it with full confidence.

So it has not been a wasted year. It started out half-way across the world, and it feels in some ways like I have been running the distance back home. But in 2010, I anticipate a steady stream of goodness to come from the world around me and my interaction with all beings. I want to appreciate my blessings and live purely in them, giving back to them the joy they give to me.

I hope you find this time a continuation of the good things in your life and turning point of fuller peace and contentment in the place where you are, in each moment of 2010.

Footie Suspenders

In light of the beautiful snow storm pictorial outside of my living room windows, it is appropriate to make a joke about footie suspenders.

I do not, on principle, like these kinds of boots. I had a really cute pair of them awhile ago when when they were new. They were Tiffany blue, not camel like everyone's these days, and they were a present. But as with leggings, which I wear to the gym and around the house but otherwise have a certain wariness of, these boots became too trendy, and now they adorn all ladies legs it seems, ages 8 months to 38 years or so.

But in full disclosure, I now own 2 pairs of said-style boots. It happened out of necessity - I acquired my first pair from a Target when in need of appropriate foot attire to stand in the freezing cold of the Washington Mall for 10 or so hours during the Obama inauguration. These little black boots were the least expensive alternative I could find, and roomy enough to fit several pairs of socks underneath them. So enough said.

Next, on my recent trip to Baltimore, I was packing very light. Only there for a day, I brought a single pair of shoes, ballet flats, to serve as my airport shoes, the shoes I wore to the gym, my shoes for all my appointments out, etc. Too bad it was torrentially raining once I got out of my appointments and headed back on the bus to grab a meal and relax at the hotel. By the early evening, hours before my flight, my feet were soaking and squishy, and my shoes un-dry-able. This is when I made the pseudo-desperate decision to book it to the nearest Payless Shoe Source and find, yet again, the least expensive pair of cozy foot-muffs I could. Enter a new pair of these silly boots, this time chocolate brown.

And though it pains me to own these boots, which make me automatically think of 12-year-old mean girls every time I wear them, they are several things I admit - basic, easy, cozy, warm. Living in a crazy place called New England, where they don't even bother to let it stop blizzarding before they shovel the snow off the ground (?!?), I pretty much need these boots. I should be thankful for these boots. But then enter the footie suspenders.

Remember stirrup pants for little girls and occasionally their elementary school teachers to wear with a baggy sweater?

Well, in case you want to re-live those days with a pair of faddy boots, go right ahead. In fact, it's a necessity, that if you don't want your jeans to look funky tucked into your big old clunky boots, you need to refashion them into stirrup pants and re-live the second grade.

Honestly, I am no one's judge in terms of fashion. In fact, the more funky the better, and everyone is entitled to their own personal style. But I am just saying if you have to stirrup your pants to make your Clydesdale feet look cooler this winter, I am not of your kindred.

PS - O and I got into our first snowball fight this morning, and guess who won? That's right - go opposable thumbs!!

S & D: A fond look back

As the year draws to a close, and I embark on the birthdays of first S, then me, I am looking back and finding myself very thankful for the time we've had together so far.

While I have high hopes that the next decade will bring us perhaps even fonder memories then the last, there are some great times behind us:

Being the subject of a nationally syndicated news article

Going to New York City and covering Madison Square Garden, Broadway, Times Square, China Town, Staten Island, Rockefeller Center, Central Park, and The Met in under 24 hours

Scrap-booking

Raising a hamster

Raising a cat

Buying our Christmas tree at Walmart

Fighting about Ted Kennedy breaking up the minimum wage filibuster

Halloween as Soulja Boy and Soulja Girl

Mount Vernon

The salmon dinner at J's

...so many, many more.

This year, S and I get the privilege of spending our first New Year's as a couple together, after over 3-and-a-half years together. One year we did talk over the phone as the ball dropped, but we were in different cities, and two of the three years we were on different continents.

This year we will be in my favorite southern state, and the activity of choice will be a tradition of ours, dress-up bowling. This is exactly what it sounds like, going to a bowling alley in your sophisticated party clothes, jacket optional, high-heels not-so-much, and adding to the ensemble your competitive spirit. I am the reigning champion, but maybe S will find himself luckier this time around. I'll be lucky just to be there having the time of my life.

Someone caved...

...and turned on the heating tonight.


Oh, the shame. If only I could be more scrappy.

I knew a few days ago when I first used my dishwasher that this was the beginning of the end. I am an officially soft, kept woman. Woe is me.

Today I have consumed:

Two cups of coffee

One cup of hot chocolate

5 Christmas cookies

5 Christmas candies

...and that's it, at 5:30 at night.

Whoo boy, is it ever time for vacation.

Game on!

So what's the perfect balance to weekend that's mellow without being boring?

I say seeing an old friend who always inspires me and puts a smile on my face, finding a new place to get great food (read the best tomato, mozzarella and basil pizza I think I've ever had) and watch the Cavaliers beat the pants off the Celtics when S comes back to town, and perfecting my own game of pool. Sort of. I mean, I can only do so much with the lack of coordination God gave me.

And yes, I did get to the gym for some weights and a run. So there. Let's just see if I get to yoga 5-6 times this week like I *plan* on.

Five days of work this week, and then fourteen days of much-needed Christmas for me.

I can't wait!!!

Fa la la la...

Guess who finished all of her family Christmas shopping today?Well, kind of.

You see, out of all my Christmas ambitions, to work out, to read about love, to and make my own gifts this year, the only one I've been keeping is the one about presents. Sad, but true.

I've read a little, and even memorized the first passage I've dug into - "Be completely humble and gentle; Be patient, bearing with one another in love." Isn't that pretty? And I learned it, years out of a school environment which last required me to know things by heart.

But working out, yeah. the last time I did, I did well. I did 5 minutes of strength training, 10 minutes of yoga, and 10 minutes of cardio. And then I stopped. Completely. It's been really hard to get to yoga classes, since they're 30 minutes away from work and home, and I feel like I am tied down to both places these days, especially with work, where I currently am, chipping away at a troublesome report and waiting on a friend in town to call me back. So my plan, Stan, is to get to the gym either tonight or tomorrow morning, and to get to yoga tomorrow evening and at least a few times this week before heading south for Christmas! Not exactly an accomplishment, but a start!

So gifts, fun gifts. What can I say about them without spoiling the surprise? Well, S knows what his gift is. It's a song, and it has been so fun to work on, because I literally get inspiration for the melody or lyrics out of thin air, and have to rush to my computer to type them in like a fancy-pants author or something. A song is the least I can do for him, since he's giving me a little something like this for a present this year, and I am so excited!!!

As for M & K, they're gifts are still secret, but I am playing a bit of Santa phone tag with them to make sure they'll like them (of course, I talk to M for K's gift and vice versa). Don't crack and tell the one about the other's gift, my Elves! Santa will be there soon enough!!

So, I am in a good holiday mood. If my friend doesn't call back soon, I think I'll be en route to pick up some Christmas cards or to window shop some more. It's a good time of year..

UPDATE: Guess who just finished S's song?!

Proof: (It's the paper on top.) Now to memorize it and re-learn the guitar in 2 weeks...

The pursuit of classyness

Intentionally misspelled like the movie-pun I'm going for. Does that make me unclassy?

So...

I have been meaning to write this blog post for a little while, and even took down some notes on it, so here goes.

While not brought up with tons of privilege so to speak, I was taught to be a respectful person from an early age and managed not to turn out to be too much of a terror (I speak in present tense!).

I have often wondered what other people think of when they think of a respectable woman. Certainly, I think all women should be respected, but I mean, what makes a woman someone of dignity and earning of admiration? There are so many different types of people out there, and yet I bet we all know what I am talking about. What makes any given woman classy?

My problem with the term 'classy' doesn't stem so much from classism, but from sexism. Often times its men that talk about wanting a classy woman, as if we conduct ourselves in our mannerisms simply to be desired by mates. I am personally wary of any man who states up front that someone he's with must be a classy dresser, always have her hair and make up done, and always appear most polite. In an ideal world, trust me, all of us would always come off our very best. But character quality does not demand lip gloss and hair spray, though character can make or break 'classiness.' I think classy goes beyond that, and beyond the notion that we are more 'together' or attractive when we are best groomed. The opposite might in fact be the case.

If I were to categorize classiness, I would say a classy woman could have in her arsenal any type of look, as long as she is dressing out of respect for herself, whatever she deems that form of dress to be.

I think she should also have the qualities of:

Kindness, Composure, Discretion, Education, Generosity, Optimism, and Humility.

Kindness - The only kind of classy anger I have seen is justified anger. The kind that is sticking up for someone's rights, or is briefly expressing due concern and moving on. I don't think a classy woman needs to be mean, because she wants the best for herself and others, and does not dwell on other's flaws, nor is she self-serving. A classy woman also does not rely on others to give her self-worth, so therefore she is not so insecure as to be manipulative, jealous, or deceitful.

Composure - A classy woman has tact and will express herself as appropriate to the situation, but with honesty. She can handle stress well as she can handle times of great joy with grace.

Discretion - A classy woman knows when to keep quiet (or so I have heard, ha ha.) She does not provoke gossip or bad feelings towards others, and she has intuition and sensibility about how to best conduct herself in a variety of situations. She is self-discipined and self-contained when need be.

Education - A classy woman values her mind and makes a concerted effort to expand her intellectual gifts. She wants to contribute to the betterment of society and assumes that duty through acting as a responsible and productive individual, often through her own instruction and self-reliance. She enjoys her life and therefore wants to know more about the world around her. This also keeps her able to be entertaining and enjoyable to others, which is a personal strength she seeks to cultivate.

Generosity - A classy woman seeks to share and to give without thought of receipt.

Optimism - A classy woman is not troubled by troubles. As she is educated and has discretion, she is able to handle the world's cynicism without succumbing to it, and she is able to see beyond temporary misfortune. She enjoys being cheerful in order to be a pleasant person for others' company.

Humility - A classy woman regards her talents as gifts and regards her accomplishments as possible only by good fortune, hard work, and the support of many others. She never seeks credit for what she has not done, nor does she feel shortchanged when she is not directly recognized for her efforts. She delights in good actions for their own sake, and seeks no outside reward, simply and politely accepting praise and deflecting it as appropriate.

So that's what I think. To recap, I don't think a classy woman is a well put together woman for a man. I don't think she goes to the salon every week, and I don't think she is a waif or that she needs look feminine, beautiful, or modest.

I think that a classy woman is a force to be reckoned with, because she has wisdom, integrity, self-confidence, and a loving spirit. With those things, she's unstoppable.

The Past, the Present, and the Future: A Review of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol

So true to my word on one, if not the many, pre-New Year's resolutions that I've made, tonight I finished up my first of 11 works of fiction to read in the next 12 months - A Christmas Carol. In all fairness to my detractors, yes, this 'book' is only a 80 or so page story, but by virtue of its timeless and seasonal nature, and by virtue of the size of my next classic literary endeavor, the 892-page Don Quixote, I say this one counts!So A Christmas Carol, what can I say? I can say that as with most of the movie versions of this story that I've experienced, the book brought tears to my eyes. I think unlike in some of the movies though, where I've liked the story but not very much liked Scrooge, in the book, I really rooted for him the entire time. It's written in the third person, but you as the audience never leave his side, and I seemed to understand for the first time the psychology of Scrooge - how a man raised with a cold father away from home, pushed toward greatness among peers likely better off than him, he might have missed opportunities along the way to embrace charity and compassion in the dogged pursuit of security and self-sufficiency. He seemed more like a child who had not yet grown up in these ways, who was still clinging to false notions of a Darwinian social order and afraid to let them go, than a pure and simple miser. And how kind, and what a testament from Dickens as to the mercy of God, that Scrooge's only life friend, even in death, would be allowed to usher him into a more loving way to live.

And the book is funny! Those sayings we take for granted in the story that we've heard since childhood really take flight in the book. One that gets me every time is when Scrooge discovers he hasn't missed Christmas and marvels, "The Spirits have done it all in one night. They can do anything they like. Of course they can." It's like 80 years of pent-up wonder coming out in Scrooge all at once.

One part missing from the on-screen story I've often seen is this quote by the narrator, which I love:

"Some people laughed to see the alteration in him, but he let them laugh, and little heeded them; for he was wise enough to know that nothing ever happened on this globe, for good, at which some people did not have their fill of laughter in the outset; and knowing that such as these would be blind anyway, he thought it quite well that they should wrinkle up their eyes in grins, as have the malady in less attractive forms. His own heart laughed: and that was quite enough for him."

It seems reassuring to think, especially at this unnecessarily harried time of Christmas, that both the unsimple good and the simple good come around in the end to laughter.

Obviously I recommend this book, and the spirit behind it!

Now onto a story about a man who is in no way like Scrooge. Expect my review a month or so from now, and hold me to it! It's time for 10 in 11.5!!

My favorite things

Hopefully it doesn't come across in poor taste, but after 2 pathos-filled posts today, I had to round my writing out with something silly.

So here is an edition of "My favorite things..." about hotels!

(I write this as I am currently staying at a hotel for the night, waiting for a fun all-day medical evaluation at Hopkins tomorrow. Don't worry, I'm healthy, just a guinea pig!!)

Warm, chewy chocolate chip cookies:

It's simple, obviously sweet, and makes you feel like you're being naughty and cheating on a diet, even if you're not on one. It also makes you feel like a grade-schooler. But that's not a new one to me.

"Free" Coffee:

This perk needs no explanation. But it lets you feel like an adult again after scrafing down the cookie.

Cool, white bed linens:

Can't have these in my apartment with a certain furry tenant. The multiple pillows and the super-cushy mattress don't hurt either. Simple and elegant, I always wake up feeling as comfy as I do when I fall asleep in such a setting.

"Free" Internet:

Sure you pay for it, I guess, but it's so easy to figure out where you are, where to eat, and to stay in touch with those you're away from with it around. Not to mention keeping up with blogging!

Being queen of the foreign land of Room #ABC:

It's like you can make a whole new set of rules at a hotel. It doesn't mean you make a mess or act irresponsibly, but what's the harm in jumping on the bed, snooping through every nook and cranny of a place that's not your own, and then breaking these funky rules you've made for yourself in hotel land and not feeling guilty for it at all?!

A plea for unity

David Gergen, my favorite political Mr. Rogers, said that tonight President Barack Obama wants to find a golden mean in between those who would build up the nation of Afghanistan with US effort and those who would leave it all alone, and give Smalltown, America more jobs with equal effort.

I would say, do neither. Yes, we need jobs. But we have unemployment. Yes, it is degrading, but that is because somehow our American self-worth got caught up in our deficit spending and whether or not we can afford our car payments. Did you know relatively speaking, that if you are an individual or family that owns one car, whatever type, however old or economy-brand, you are among the most wealthy in our global community?

So why not fund a war in Afghanistan? It protects us against terror. Sure. It might do that. But personally I don't think we should be terrified with terror. Or unemployment, you see. Terror uses the physical to threaten the spiritual, and I would like to think that the physical can always overcome terror when the spiritual is its guide. Lots of people would say I am idealistic, but I would challenge that too. Think about a baby in a bath. He laughs, he splashes, he is completely naked without any ability to care for himself or to understand of how he will be cared for, but he is spiritually happy. Think of athletes who do absolutely incredibly things with their bodies in tribute to and in consequence of their unfailing competitive spirit. But I digress and get ahead of myself.

The main reason I think that we need to forget Afghanistan and forget ourselves is that there are others in need. This summer I wrote about Darfur. What have you heard about Darfur this winter? Since summer? You certainly haven't heard a lot, though a lot of horrible situations continue to exist there that have nothing to do with our sky scrapers being bombed or three thousand people who have our arbitrary citizenship instead of the Sudan's dying. God bless their souls, those who died in 9/11. But humanity, honor their souls, and the 300,000+ persons killed in the Darfur genocide, not by vengeance, but with mercy and love for those who most need it. Help children read, help women vote, stop terror, but first, help everyone have clean water to drink and a safe place to lay their head. Seek to help that which is most pressing first. It is certainly not our national reputation, our nation, or us.

"Will you decide what men shall live, what men shall die? It may be that, in the sight of Heaven, you are more worthless and less fit to live than millions like this poor man's child. Oh, God! to hear the Insect on the leaf pronouncing on the too much life among his hungry brothers in the dust!" - Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol

Back to Baltimore

As I head to Baltimore this evening, I have to sigh as I think, Mayor Sheila Dixon, that's just not okay.

I like you, but even in the event that the gift cards were anonymous or leftover, why as the public servant of an impoverished city would you use them for yourself? Why not give them away to a family or two, who could have used the money to buy a new appliance like a space heater in the coming winter months? Or why not donate them to the Baltimore City Healthy Start Centers, to moms who can't afford basic toiletries for themselves as they struggle to feed and clothe their infants?

I respect your initiatives for the city, and I challenge you to live your daily life with positive initiative for the city as well.