A Big Mess

It's typical that life is always changing, always giving me a chance to play "catch up."

Even being one of those people who isn't into the next thing, I find myself behind so many times.

I don't need the next generation of iPhone on my list to feel so tired of working on myself, where I'm at, and what I have, for instance.

All it takes for me is trying to get rote that crazy balance of life, emotions, work, play, God, growth, and occassionally feeling pretty.

My apartment is a mess, and I need to go to the gym. Or my apartment is clean, but I am SO TIRED. Or the bills are paid, but I didn't have enough for savings this month. I know this is being an adult - blah blah blah - but that doesn't mean I am okay with it. I mean, I can do one of two things, ignore my problems and pitfalls, or deal with them. I cannot erase them or make my life into something it isn't over night. Nor can I reach the end goal, until, well, the end. I am always in process, and in that way it's all a good thing. But boy, what a complicated process it is!

XOXO.

Try

All I know
Is everything is not as it's sold
but the more I grow the less I know
And I have lived so many lives
Though I'm not old
And the more I see, the less I grow
The fewer the seeds the more I sow

Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try

- NF

Training's over. I'll be writing lyrics all weekend. I'll be digging in.

AA

I went to my second ever open AA meeting tonight, hosted by my awesome, incredible, ridiculously inspiring colleagues.

Today was one of their 24th birthdays, meaning that this beautiful woman stopped using the substances that were harming her and keeping her from her true potential 24 years ago. She now lives her potential.

I am blown away by the strength of every person I meet, once I actually "meet" them, you know? Look them in the eye and see them. Even more so for colleagues willing to relieve their pain for the benefit of the healing of a generation that will be healthier because of them.

It can be so hard for me to process work trainings, but it is so reaffirming to know we are in this for the right reasons.

To go to work and love your job is one thing, but to go to work and help others live out their destiny is another. I couldn't ask for a greater gift in a profession.

That God can take our brokenness and use it to restore is what makes God God and makes us us.

I'm so thankful for my life and the ways it's led me right here.

The Wild and Crazy Yangs

Saturday for S, D, and O:

- S goes to work at 9am. He is still at work at 9pm. Those proteins don't purify themselves (or whatever it is that my boyfriend actually does at work, doesn't do itself.)

- D sleeps in. Listens to Ingrid Michaelson and Mumford and Sons. Plays with O, her little lion man. Answers 13 work emails. Goes to Staples to buy training supplies. Goes to Borders and like a mad-woman, browses the young adult section, the Christmas CDs, and ultimately splurges on a book of chords, the Message, and a large (woo hoo!) white chocolate mocha and a sausage omelet sandwich for S.
- O sits on S's computer while D blogs.

That's pretty much it.

Jammin'...

...with this lady these days.

Any requests?!