Love each other for today, because we don't get tomorrow

http://www.upworthy.com/a-husband-took-these-photos-of-his-wife-and-captured-love-and-loss-beautifully?c=reccon1

Psalm 90:4
For a thousand years in your sight are but as yesterday when it is past, or as a watch in the night.

You are terrifying and strange and beautiful

On the issue of dignity:

http://www.sisteroftheyam.com/?p=167

"If anything, I am an accidental lady and probably not even a lady at all. It took me years to forgive that about myself."

"...what we need more than ladies is women."

"If you are a woman, your deservedness of empathy, defense, and safety is tied to your success at performing 'ladylikeness' and is a luxury that is hard to earn and easy to lose."

"...your skirt could be the right length; your faith could be biblically obedient; you could suffer in silence and sacrifice with enthusiasm; your politics could be dainty; your orgasms could be collateral accidents of your polite sex; you could be quiet, light, small, poised, dignified, neat, clean, stoic–whatever it takes to be easy to regard and love–and still be visited upon with as much violence, betrayal, and disrespect as the next woman."

"The cult of ladyhood is a fraudulent buy that can also strip women of their power, their resources, and their joy."

"many of us...are so fixated on policing the unladylike ways in which women hurt, that we find ourselves terrible advocates for those who need our courage the most."

"I imagine a world in which women and men are taught to tend to their desires absent the shame. I imagine a world in which together they rewrite the rules of their partnerships–rules that are moored onto their own tailored truths and wants instead of the fantasies of what they should believe and crave."

"We should trust that when we raise confident, empowered, fully themselves women, that what we covet about ladies–poise, tact, and style–can come from other, perhaps deeper, places than convention."

"We need women of defiance."

Stigma, Privilege, and other things I've been thinking about

I often think of the Christmas story as one where God, by revealing himself to the world in the form of a Shepherd to walk among us, restores human dignity (by restoring our relationship to God, and ourselves as God's children, in Christ).

It's got me thinking of all the work we as people in a Creator can do, in partnership with our God and in hand with that dignity we've been granted, to extend our awareness of the injustices and the indignities still in the world, so that shifts might occur.

Given my background and what I've experienced in life, dignity for those dealing with mental health disorders is an issue about which I am passionate. When I volunteered with people at an inpatient unit, I began to understand how the small things - being allowed to chose a drink with a meal or wash one's clothes independently - made such a difference in one's own perception of empowerment and agency. When I worked with NAMI, I saw how cultural perceptions of health and wellness could strip away the dignity of the individual suffering in deference to the cultural standard which forbade health care in the first place. This kind of thing hurts the individual, but of course families and whole societies too.

Among the rest of us, mental health disorders are relatively prevalent, and mental health care is necessary for all of us. We have a long way to go in acknowledging mental health parity and living it out. It's something I hope I'll see continue to change for the better in my lifetime.

Food for thought:

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/12/08/opinion/sunday/shameful-profiling-of-the-mentally-ill.html?adxnnl=1&smid=fb-share&adxnnlx=1386777710-yHUgZ5Ubg6cdIBdf0ZJajg

Another topic that has reentered my consciousness lately is White Privilege. Among my own privileges, I've recently admitted my privilege not to stand out, my privilege to be seen as conforming with socially acceptable norms (whether or not I do!) and my privilege to be perceived as innocent before being judged as guilty. I would encourage all people with White ancestry, all those who are White or look White, to chew on this concept a bit and to revisit it from time, to time, to time. It will open you up to a larger world to enjoy, and it will also help you take a step towards accepting the inherent dignity of our brothers and sisters of all race/ethnicities.

More food for thought:

http://blindspotproject.blogspot.com/p/blog-page.html

Riduckulous

Stays

Gorgeous Judy Garland. How I idolized her as Dorothy. How I soaked in the story. How much I can take away from The Wizard of Oz as an adult.

Wizard of Oz: Frightened? Child, you're talking to a man who's laughed in the face of death, sneered at doom, and chuckled at catastrophe... I was petrified

Dorothy: If I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own back yard. Because if it isn't there, I never really lost it.

In our words and actions, staying silent is not acceptable. Not working together, as men and women is even less so.

Behavior Change

Another reason why I do what I do. No quick fixes. Lots of complicated, diligent work. And the end result is being creative, hopeful and communal in changing people's lives for the better:

Found this among my drafts, thought it worth posting

A religious man is a person who holds God and man in one thought at one time, at all times, who suffers harm done to others, whose greatest passion is compassion, whose greatest strength is love and defiance of despair.

New York Journal-American, April 5, 1963

To be of service

This Thanksgiving, I want to share something deeply personal.

I've written about it before, and I'll write about it again.

It may cause some people to think I've got my priorities mixed up, others to think I've got life mixed up, and others to just not get it.

I want to say how thankful I am for the work I get to do.

I work in a helping profession. I work with people who use their brokenness to heal others. I work with data and research and building connections. I work with kids. I work with so much laughter.

And I work with a mentor who is living this life:

Most people who were alive 50 years ago today remember exactly where they were when they got that awful news that President Kennedy had been assassinated, and I mean most people all around the globe. Our international standing was very high then, and he was a supernumerary hero to a multi-cultural, multi-ethnic and multi-national world.

I was in Philadelphia recruiting for Peace Corps Volunteers at Penn, Temple and Drexel. Upon learning of the tragedy, I immediately checked in to the office in Washington, and was instructed to return as quickly as possible. Sargent Shriver, the Peace Corps Director and brother-in-law of President Kennedy, was to be in charge of the funeral, we learned a little later, and would need all the help we could give him.

At the time, my role on the Peace Corps staff was as an assistant to Bill Moyers, the Deputy Director. Bill was in Texas with the Presidential entourage, having been a protégé of Vice President Johnson. Upon returning to Washington with the new President, Bill went straight to the White House and never returned to work at the Peace Corps.

In the late 1950s, while serving on the US Army East-West German border patrol, I read a book, “The Ugly American,” a Eugene Burdick novel that depicted our countrymen who did business and vacationed abroad in a less than positive manner. I saw a lot of that, which I considered disgraceful, among our occupation forces in Europe. I came home determined to spend my life in active amelioration of that problem.

Hence, when Presidential candidate John Kennedy first spoke about the idea of the Peace Corps, I was hooked. I went to Washington on his inaugural day and stayed, eventually landing a spot at the Peace Corps after it was formed. I am very proud to be a part of the “Ask not…” generation. Sure, we were somewhat naïve in thinking we could save the world.

But, even though those of us in that band “lost our innocence” that day, the spirit of service that was born in me during those early years still lives on, albeit in a much older carcass. I am so happy to be able to continue to serve a cause larger than myself, and I am grateful to all of you for helping me do that. We do it well!

Peace

Today, as I sit down to be with my family, to give thanks through a shared meal and a day off, I want to let it be known - I work with the best people on the planet, and if I can be half of what they are at what they do, then maybe I can make a start at paying back the gift of work.

Slumpsville

Whenever I am in a slump, I think I shall pull out this list and discover what for.

Then I shall stop being stupid and proceed with the following:

Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone. We have life and love to celebrate. This is serious business. Let's get to it.

Sometimes it's good to remember

When we want to honk at people in traffic (or, okay, run them over)

When we want to isolate and tell no one we're having a bad day

When we want to refrain from that compliment or tenderness out of comfort

That this is where we come from.

Convinced

As we head into Thanksgiving week, I have something to say.

I'm not a big instigator or aggressor, but reading this sign, as opposed to some of the many platitudes I've been hearing about making the holidays "count," really brought things home for me:

I do not need more stuff. We do not need more stuff. I need connection, tenderness, laughter, playfulness, security and love around the holidays from the people I'm blessed to share them with. I want to give hope, joy, peace and comfort to my family and friends during this time. I'd like humanity to learn something about what real generosity means from Jesus Christ, and I'd like that to change the way we behave toward one another. I'd like us to see that the way of true abundance and sharing is diametrically opposed to the words on this sign and the reality behind them.

Don't give stuff. Give yourself to those you love. Love as you have been loved by the Spirit who's set our lives in motion. Be of good cheer. And especially at Christmas, keep fighting the good fight.

The three silences

Grateful

I am thankful for my family today. In a week, we'll be able to spend the whole day together, just us, on a lazy Saturday. It's been forever (or at least it feels like it), and it will be the first weekend spent in their lovely new home!

That we have a space and time to share together is a sweet, sweet thing.

Strike

Strike a match.
Play it loud.
Giving love to the world.

Mags. All I care about is waking, working, and seeing Mags in the arena tonight.

 

All of these things all of the time

http://elitedaily.com/life/20s-things-you-need-to-let-go-to-live-happy-life/

Grand Canyon at Sunrise Spring 2013. An Exercise in 17.

Seriously. These things, plus work, laughter, art, movement, sleep, faith and food, and I'm really, really, really good.

Advent

I'd like to read through this list several times a week as we approach what has to be a holiday season I am looking forward to more so than any in recent memory.

I'd ask God to place these items on my heart, to remember them, or to find them waiting for me when I am neglectful of my duty to live for my maker and to live in the life with which I was so graciously provided.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/brianna-wiest/2013/11/18-things-everyone-should-start-making-time-for-again/

Happy almost winter, almost Thanksgiving, almost Advent.





And almost Catching Fire!

Passion and dreams

You know you're a real adult when...

 

...you have a food board on Pinterest. 

Baby steps to domesticity.

Deconstruction

As per usual, I don't agree with all of this. But I am going to point out (as per usual) what really makes my heart sing, what makes me see our God when I hear these words, and I'm going to hope that others leap and do the same.

"...God is present in...challenging interactions."

"'This isn’t supposed to be the Elks Club with the Eucharist'...Religion should be 'something that’s so devastatingly beautiful it can break your heart.'"

"'God is not distant...God is there in the messy...middle of it...'"

"'Christianity...[is] always putting me into something new.'"

Bolz-Weber’s liberal, foulmouthed articulation of Christianity speaks to fed-up believers

 

Credit

Mondays after Sundays are Humbling

Dear unknown person at work whose leftover yaki udon chicken I: 1) mistook for my yaki udon vegetable, 2) prepared, 3) partially consumed, 4) realized was not mine, and 5) replaced -

Thank you for understanding.

Hearing it

How I feel about my relationship with God.

And to what I want to West Coast Swing.

Unsinkable Molly Ortwein

Even though it's the headlining element of the story, the tattoos featured here have their show completely stolen by Molly.

What a woman - in one short chronicle we see her commitment to her health, her love of nature, her connection to her family, and her indomitable will, which refuses for even a second to consider victimhood.

I pray we can all be that heroic in the face of our own adversities.

...and Honesty

LISTEN

She told me she wanted me to listen…so I said to what?
She said listen to the heartbeat of all the memories of my failed relationships
and then love me like the cure for cancer.
Answer the questions of my life with silence and sometimes “just listen.”
You don’t wear a halo and I don’t need a saving grace,
just embrace my pain enough to feel it.
You don’t need to illuminate my problems and make my wrongs right.
Even the sun must let the earth sit in darkness at night.
I can shine on my own, I just need you to be there. Be there like air.
Even present when I don’t know it, be the silent foundation of my life. Support me.
Be my pulse, invisible to those around me but still real. Real cause I can feel you.
She said, sometimes, I just want to know I can count on you.
Add you like math to the equation of life.
Be my quotient, the sum of my parts, beat with my heart, be in sync with me.
Co-write the story of my life as if you were inked with me.
Tattoo yourself to my hope so I can carry you into my dreams.
Sleep with me so we can share the same dreams and then seam our souls together.
Stitch me into the fabric of your fantasies and once again answer me with simple silence.
She said just listen.
Send me a silent stare, talk to me with a kiss, miss me when I’m still with you.
Resist the temptation to touch me and yet still caress me.
Bless me, treat me like a temple.
Worship within my walls and fall into my future.
Suture away my wounds and heal me.
Stand in the next room and still feel me.
She said, be the center of my universe.
Rehearse me like poetry. Speak me into existence.
Make me your adjective and describe us.
Trust me enough to show it, show me enough to know it, know it enough to believe it,
relieve me of the wonder and understand it.
She told me she wanted me to listen…so I did.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mnp5eArXCXs

Yup. Still want to get to the Kentucky Derby.

This one's for you, Special K!

The Wicker Man: 1973 vs. 2006

The Original: A creepy, thoughtful, complex exploration of the intersection between sexuality and religion.

The Remake: A movie about Nicholas Cage dressing like a bear.

I've met my 5-year-old counterpart

Oh yes.

This is how dancing should be done.

That we would all be full of such joy in the moment.

Happy Monday!

Happy Halloween!

Love is appreciating what is right in front of you

Weekend run. Castle Island. October 2013.

Days go by

Wow it has just been so long since I've had the momentum to blog.

Life goes on, most assuredly. The fall is stinking beautiful up here, and we've been blessed with the best weather - crisp and cool and breezy and sunny and I just try to take it all in, because as I get older, the seasons really do start to fly by, and there's not one thing I seem to be able to grab a hold of  to take with me. All I can do is appreciate the moments spent in awe of nature as they come.
 
But now for some more silliness, because I am also in need of a mind dump:

Lots of time spent on the health effects of marijuana this week, and a lot of respect felt for my colleagues who devote their time to wading through such topics with our students. When I actually get to think about the science and read journal articles from *gasp* 2013, I get into it. When I spend my time delicately answering question after question about how much students can smoke without having a "problem," I tend to lose a little of my umph. Perhaps within the intersection of the two types of my work lies the issue - perhaps we've got a minority of kids running around, axons in the hippocampal regions of their cerebral cortexes all diffused, forgetting how much marijuana they can smoke without it becoming a problem. It's a real joy those limited times I spend working with kids in-person, and I meet young people more focused on their lives and living them well than on the minutia of risk aversion-themed rebuttals I hear, and mostly from adults who assume their kids are less healthy than the reality states.

In other recent times and/or seasonal news, I need to figure out a Halloween costume. This is always an agonizing decision for me, and even more last minute than it is agonizing. That may be because part of me remembers that I am an adult, but it's mostly likely more so the case that I get too excited to figure it out.

Marijuana and Halloween. For now, mind dump complete.

Throwing this up there

I haven't posted in far too long.

So I'm throwing this thought up here for everyone to ponder.

And this one.

Do we, and by how much, overestimate our capacity to know? To be certain? To dominate understanding?

And how does this affect our lives, our place in the universe, and our ability to connect with what really matters?

Coming from an avid brain enthusiast, I've got to wonder what we all , full of cerebral narcissism, might be missing.

Makin' like a Dixie Chick

...and ready ready ready, ready to run!

Significantly satisified

Well, despite my best efforts at cheeriness, it has been a blah kind of week.

Or at least that's my high-expectations, love of flurry and activity kind of take on the week.

One thing that has definitely kept me going is the sea, or, if we're being technical, the Massachusetts Bay on which I live.

My move this past June was definitely the right one. I think I would be crazy if it were not for the water. Before or after a day of the "blahs," God reminds me of the same thing Samwise so often does:

“For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach.”

This just seemed so Sunday

http://www.mtlblog.com/2013/09/ballet-dancers-in-everyday-situations/

So many people make such beautiful art in so many different ways. Thank you internet for bringing it to us. Now I shall relax.

 

Happy Sunday!

Sunny

Good morning, Boston.

Yes. This is how I feel.

Thank God for every new day to learn.

Simultaneously proud and embarrased of this picture.

As it is with other things in life. Proud. Embarrassed. But I'm here to be both.

(Personal record 10K to benefit the Beverly School for the Deaf.)

Right side of the bed

Yesterday, I was sad that I hadn't been sleeping/waking as well as I would like. So I inquired about strategies to remedy this, and from a couple of friends received some good ideas:

 

Corpse pose yogic breathing

Hot milk with cinnamon

Waking between 4:30-6:30am

 

...

 

and the one I actually used

 

...

 

Thinking about what I was looking forward to today!

 

Glorious fall weather, getting to work on time, and that extra thirty minutes of peace.



Thanks to the wiser

Reposting this from Ragamuffin Soul:

40 Thoughts On The Final Day Of My 30′s.

I'm not at thirty yet, but I've always been a bit precocious, and I have never been all that great at being as sincerely authentic, in an emotionally-balanced, healthy kind of way, as I would like.

And these are just a couple of the many reasons I admire Los - he seeks authenticity and doesn't find the need to make apologies for how uncomfortable speaking truth can make those hiders, perfectionists, and wannabes out there.

Thanks for sharing your truth, Los. I'm guaranteed to live out the last of my 20's well, and live into my 30's better, for your words of honesty.

Some of my favorites:

1. Stop chasing your dream. By the time you are 6 feet under, no one will remember how hard you chased, they will only remember if you LIVED your dream. Stop chasing the dream and start living it.

3. Don’t smile a little more. Smile all the time. It changes you and those around you.

6. The feeling she gives you when she looks at you that way…it’s the same feeling your wife used to give you before she knew your junk. Don’t give in. Don’t do it. It’s not real and it’s not worth it.

20. Listen More… Speak Less. Comforting someone is more about the sides of your head instead of the front of it.

23. You had less than $10 in the bank account when you filled out the paperwork to adopt Losiah. You will never be “ready” enough to take a risk.  Begin now.

24. Just Jump. Jump high, Jump far, Jump often.  Just Jump.

25. You can’t even roll a garden hose correctly. Don’t take yourself so seriously.

28. It’s YOUR story. Not THEIRS. You hold the Sharpie and you get to write it.

37. It’s God’s kindness that leads to repentance. Not shame, guilt, beating yourself up or an obstacle course. Simply God’s kindness. That. Changes. Everything.

39. Make sure you feel your heart pound in your chest everyday. Whether from a run, a kiss, or a risk.  Make. It. Pound.

On courage

Sometimes

It's okay to start Monday with an anthem.

Thought Provoking Question: 10 of 25

Crying is a sign of strength. Crying means that something matters, and that there are not words to express all of the meaning we place on people, moments, or feelings in this journey through life.

The first time I really remember crying, I was about two or three. I cried with my whole body, and my whole heart. I was drained when I stopped. I cried because I was powerless over my circumstances, and I didn't know where to turn.

The last time I really cried was much more recent. Like that first memory, I cried with my whole body, heart, and it drained me. The difference this time was that I cried because I had made a choice I did have power over, a tough choice, a real choice, and I was crying because I chose to place my faith in the ultimate outcome of that choice in the hands of Someone greater than myself.

I believe one of the strongest things we can ever do is to look our limitations straight in the eye, memorize their faces, and then give them a smile as the tears stream down our own. Let them know that they're welcome as a part of us, but that our full identity will stand no matter how much they might try to take us down.

As one of my favorites has said,

"Though you may hear me holler, and you may see me cry -- I'll be dogged, sweet baby, if you gonna see me die."

365

It's been a year since I laid down my sword and changed my life.

In some ways, I couldn't feel more the same.

In others, I don't recognize that person who I was, just starting to find my voice on my own, just starting to trust others to, as that sweet saying goes, more or less, sing the song of my heart back to me whenever I forgot it.

I went back to the Blue Hills today, to sit on a rock, talk with a friend, and center. After that talk, I embraced the solitude and autumn air just like I did in September 2009 when I first stepped foot into that wood, disoriented by my new home and endlessly excited about my new life.

As I walked around the pond, I felt whole, still excited about what's to come, but complete with just me there in my place.

I circled 'round, saw some couples, kids, dogs, and then got in my car to be with the people who sat with me, a stranger, on this day last year with just as much love as they would today.

Every day I am grateful for my life. But traditions, celebrations, benchmarks and milestones, big and small, deserve their special places of thanks and appreciation. To today, I say thank you. This day is full of irrefutable hope.

Political science literacy

Of all the weeks to have dropped off the face of the planet, I chose the week things got real in D.C. about Syria.

I can reengage in life. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can. Life is too important to let a little sleep deprivation and general disorientation get in the way. Off to running club, to run for our women and men in uniform (not jammies and junk food, promise).

God bless us, everyone.