Who are your people? Get to know them a little bit. Investigate them. Consider what they were thinking and feeling when they made history or made you understand who you, too, are.
I will never forget the first college course I ever took, and the first day of class in that course. It was taught by a Latina, educated at the University of California, Berkeley, who was the standing Director of the Johns Hopkins Center for Talented Youth.
I will never forget sitting outside of that first classroom, very early, waiting to enter, completely scared of a college education, despite what others thought of me. I did not know if I could do it. I did not know if I would be intelligent enough, hard working enough, creative enough. I felt small.
Then, 30 or so minutes later, I was in a class, being taught by a Latina woman, my first professor, the woman who would be my first collegiate mentor. She shared with us a story about her college advisor. He met with her before her undergraduate classes had started. He asked her about her educational and vocational ambitions. When she expressed some of her uncertainty about where her education might take her, her advisor was quick to resign himself to her doubt, saying without embarrassment, "Well, that's not unexpected. You'll be pregnant and married after your first year anyway."
Well, Dr. Y didn't get pregnant after her first year. But she did eventually coauthor the book Americanos, though, a tribute to being Latino in the United States and the diversity of our ethnicity here. And even though that course was a challenge for me, I knew I was in the right place being a Latino woman, a woman at college with scholarships keeping me there, a woman with a purpose that would be her own, standing on the shoulders of many giants.
So I encourage you to find, know, and love your people. They will guide you and remind you of your purpose.
I Am Joaquin
by Rodolfo Corky Gonzales
Yo soy Joaquín,
perdido en un mundo de confusión:
I am Joaquín, lost
in a world of confusion,
caught up in the whirl of a gringo society,
confused by the rules, scorned by attitudes,
suppressed by manipulation,
and destroyed by modern society.
My fathers have lost the economic battle
and won the struggle of cultural survival.
And now! I must choose
between the paradox of
victory of the spirit, despite physical hunger,
or to exist in the grasp of American social neurosis,
sterilization of
the soul and a full stomach.
Yes, I have come a long way to nowhere,
unwillingly dragged by that monstrous, technical,
industrial giant
called Progress and Anglo success....
I look at myself.
I watch my
brothers.
I shed tears of sorrow. I sow seeds of hate.
I withdraw to the
safety within the circle of life --
MY OWN PEOPLE
I am Cuauhtémoc, proud
and noble,
leader of men, king of an empire civilized
beyond the dreams
of the gachupín Cortés,
who also is the blood, the image of myself.
I am
the Maya prince.
I am Nezahualcóyotl, great leader of the Chichimecas.
I
am the sword and flame of Cortes the despot
And I am the eagle and serpent
of the Aztec civilization.
I owned the land as far as the eye
could see
under the Crown of Spain,
and I toiled on my Earth and gave my Indian sweat
and blood
for the Spanish master who ruled with tyranny over man and
beast and all that he could trample
But...THE GROUND WAS MINE.
I was
both tyrant and slave.
As the Christian church took its place in God's name,
to take and use my virgin strength and trusting faith,
the priests, both
good and bad, took--
but gave a lasting truth that Spaniard Indian Mestizo
were all God's children.
And from these words grew men who prayed and
fought
for their own worth as human beings, for that
GOLDEN MOMENT of
FREEDOM.
I was part in blood and spirit of that courageous village priest
Hidalgo who in the year eighteen hundred and ten
rang the bell of
independence and gave out that lasting cry--
El Grito de Dolores
"Que
mueran los gachupines y que viva la Virgen de Guadalupe...."
I sentenced him
who was me I excommunicated him, my blood.
I drove him from the pulpit to
lead a bloody revolution for him and me....
I killed him.
His head,
which is mine and of all those
who have come this way,
I placed on that
fortress wall
to wait for independence. Morelos! Matamoros! Guerrero!
all companeros in the act, STOOD AGAINST THAT WALL OF INFAMY
to feel the
hot gouge of lead which my hands made.
I died with them ... I lived with
them .... I lived to see our country free.
Free from Spanish rule in
eighteen-hundred-twenty-one.
Mexico was free??
The crown was gone but
all its parasites remained,
and ruled, and taught, with gun and flame and
mystic power.
I worked, I sweated, I bled, I prayed,
and waited silently
for life to begin again.
I fought and died for Don Benito Juarez, guardian
of the Constitution.
I was he on dusty roads on barren land as he protected
his archives
as Moses did his sacraments.
He held his Mexico in his hand
on
the most desolate and remote ground which was his country.
And this
giant little Zapotec gave not one palm's breadth
of his country's land to
kings or monarchs or presidents of foriegn powers.
I am Joaquin.
I rode
with Pancho Villa,
crude and warm, a tornado at full strength,
nourished
and inspired by the passion and the fire of all his earthy people.
I am
Emiliano Zapata.
"This land, this earth is OURS."
The villages, the
mountains, the streams
belong to Zapatistas.
Our life or yours is the
only trade for soft brown earth and maize.
All of which is our reward,
a
creed that formed a constitution
for all who dare live free!
"This land
is ours . . .
Father, I give it back to you.
Mexico must be free. . . ."
I ride with revolutionists
against myself.
I am the Rurales,
coarse and brutal,
I am the mountian Indian,
superior over all.
The thundering hoof beats are my horses. The chattering machine guns
are
death to all of me:
Yaqui
Tarahumara
Chamala
Zapotec
Mestizo
Español.
I have been the bloody revolution,
The victor,
The
vanquished.
I have killed
And been killed.
I am the despots Díaz
And Huerta
And the apostle of democracy,
Francisco Madero.
I am
The black-shawled
Faithfulwomen
Who die with me
Or live
Depending on the time and place.
I am faithful, humble Juan Diego,
The Virgin of Guadalupe,
Tonantzín, Aztec goddess, too.
I rode the
mountains of San Joaquín.
I rode east and north
As far as the Rocky
Mountains,
And
All men feared the guns of
Joaquín Murrieta.
I
killed those men who dared
To steal my mine,
Who raped and killed my
love
My wife.
Then I killed to stay alive.
I was Elfego Baca,
living my nine lives fully.
I was the Espinoza brothers
of the Valle
de San Luis.
All were added to the number of heads that in the name of
civilization
were placed on the wall of independence, heads of brave men
who died for cause or principle, good or bad.
Hidalgo! Zapata!
Murrieta! Espinozas!
Are but a few.
They dared to face
The force
of tyranny
Of men who rule by deception and hypocrisy.
I stand here
looking back,
And now I see the present,
And still I am a campesino,
I am the fat political coyote–
I,
Of the same name,
Joaquín,
In a country that has wiped out
All my history,
Stifled all my
pride,
In a country that has placed a
Different weight of indignity upon
my age-old burdened back.
Inferiority is the new load . . . .
The Indian
has endured and still
Emerged the winner,
The Mestizo must yet overcome,
And the gachupín will just ignore.
I look at myself
And see part of
me
Who rejects my father and my mother
And dissolves into the melting
pot
To disappear in shame.
I sometimes
Sell my brother out
And
reclaim him
For my own when society gives me
Token leadership
In
society's own name.
I am Joaquín,
Who bleeds in many ways.
The
altars of Moctezuma
I stained a bloody red.
My back of Indian slavery
Was stripped crimson
From the whips of masters
Who would lose their
blood so pure
When revolution made them pay,
Standing against the walls
of retribution.
Blood has flowed from me on every battlefield between
campesino, hacendado,
slave and master and revolution.
I jumped from
the tower of Chapultepec
into the sea of fame–
my country's flag
my
burial shroud–
with Los Niños,
whose pride and courage
could not
surrender
with indignity
their country's flag
to strangers . . . in
their land.
Now I bleed in some smelly cell from club or gun or tyranny.
I bleed as the vicious gloves of hunger
Cut my face and eyes,
As I
fight my way from stinking barrios
To the glamour of the ring
And lights
of fame
Or mutilated sorrow.
My blood runs pure on the ice-caked
Hills of the Alaskan isles,
On the corpse-strewn beach of Normandy,
The foreign land of Korea
And now Vietnam.
Here I stand
Before
the court of justice,
Guilty
For all the glory of my Raza
To be
sentenced to despair.
Here I stand,
Poor in money,
Arrogant with
pride,
Bold with machismo,
Rich in courage
And
Wealthy in spirit
and faith.
My knees are caked with mud.
My hands calloused from the hoe.
I have made the Anglo rich,
Yet
Equality is but a word–
The Treaty
of Hidalgo has been broken
And is but another threacherous promise.
My
land is lost
And stolen,
My culture has been raped.
I lengthen the
line at the welfare door
And fill the jails with crime.
These then are
the rewards
This society has
For sons of chiefs
And kings
And
bloody revolutionists,
Who gave a foreign people
All their skills and
ingenuity
To pave the way with brains and blood
For those hordes of
gold-starved strangers,
Who
Changed our language
And plagiarized our
deeds
As feats of valor
Of their own.
They frowned upon our way of
life
and took what they could use.
Our art, our literature, our music,
they ignored–
so they left the real things of value
and grabbed at their
own destruction
by their greed and avarice.
They overlooked that
cleansing fountain of
nature and brotherhood
which is Joaquín.
The
art of our great señores,
Diego Rivera,
Siqueiros,
Orozco, is but
another act of revolution for
the salvation of mankind.
Mariachi music,
the heart and soul
of the people of the earth,
the life of the child,
and the happiness of love.
The corridos tell the tales
of life and
death,
of tradition,
legends old and new, of joy
of passion and
sorrow
of the people–who I am.
I am in the eyes of woman,
sheltered
beneath
her shawl of black,
deep and sorrowful eyes
that bear the
pain of sons long buried or dying,
dead on the battlefield or on the barbed
wire of social strife.
Her rosary she prays and fingers endlessly
like
the family working down a row of beets
to turn around and work and work.
There is no end.
Her eyes a mirror of all the warmth
and all the
love for me,
and I am her
and she is me.
We face life together in
sorrow,
anger, joy, faith and wishful
thoughts.
I shed the tears of
anguish
as I see my children disappear
behind the shroud of mediocrity,
never to look back to remember me.
I am Joaquín.
I must fight
and win this struggle
for my sons, and they
must know from me
who I am.
Part of the blood that runs deep in me
could not be
vanquished by the Moors.
I defeated them after five hundred years,
and I
have endured.
Part of the blood that is mine
has labored endlessly four
hundred
years under the heel of lustful
Europeans.
I am still here!
I have endured in the rugged mountains
Of our country
I have survived
the toils and slavery of the fields.
I have existed
In the barrios of
the city
In the suburbs of bigotry
In the mines of social snobbery
In the prisons of dejection
In the muck of exploitation
And
In
the fierce heat of racial hatred.
And now the trumpet sounds,
The music
of the people stirs the
Revolution.
Like a sleeping giant it slowly
Rears its head
To the sound of
Tramping feet
Clamoring voices
Mariachi strains
Fiery tequila explosions
The smell of chile verde
and
Soft brown eyes of expectation for a
Better life.
And in all the
fertile farmlands,
the barren plains,
the mountain villages,
smoke-smeared cities,
we start to MOVE.
La raza!
Méjicano!
Español!
Latino!
Chicano!
Or whatever I call myself,
I look
the same
I feel the same
I cry
And
Sing the same.
I am the
masses of my people and
I refuse to be absorbed.
I am Joaquín.
The
odds are great
But my spirit is strong,
My faith unbreakable,
My
blood is pure.
I am Aztec prince and Christian Christ.
I SHALL ENDURE!
I WILL ENDURE!
1 comment:
You have your work cut with so many cultures in your make-up ... Hungarian, Danish, German, and others, too :)
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