Disagreement

"Maybe I’m old fashioned, but I’d rather experience people–and their politics–through unlikely, awkward, strained, challenging, beautiful relationships built over time. That way, when we do clash or differ, we love each other..."

http://www.spectraspeaks.com/2013/05/afrofeminism-labels-politically-correct-straight-allies-white-antiracissts-male-feminists/

This is an interesting thought piece, my favorite portion of which is quoted above. With this portion, I wholeheartedly agree. In fact, if there is one way in which I feel I've built the unique, enduring and intimate friendships with the amazing souls I'm blessed to know, it's because I learned to know them innocently, without presuppositions about their ilk or affiliation with this and that. It may have been a comedian who said, "The shortest distance between two people is a smile," but it might as well have been a psychologist, journalist, theologian or an attendant of sorrows, because there is all kinds of truth in the notion that genuine relationship trumps preconceived stereotyping every time.

What makes this article and other items I often post here more interesting, though, is the disagreement I have with the author too. I am not sure I quite get the whole picture, even in embracing her personhood and attempting to live out her quote.

 I marvel in the fact that we share certain perspectives so closely. At the same time, the revolt against labels perplexes. Hypocrisy and ignorance are not new problems in our social movements toward equality. Labels can't take away or create discrimination without some social (mis)education around these words. So if these woes are best alleviated through relationship-building, then why mock the "white girl" (label, label) who stepped out of her comfort zone, albeit imperfectly? How is it moving from the strained and challenging to the beautiful to call her a burden on a public forum? Was there an awkward, but gracious moment in there before the author discounts the volunteer relationally, as well as rejecting her self-professed label? And how now do I work to find my own grace instead of discord in moments when someone I want to cheer for disappoints?

My only guess is humility and common ground. If I knew her, and I do not, it might change my whole mind. In every likelihood, she and I  are ultimately on the the same page. We yearn for some of the same things, though we have different life experiences. While a term I might throw around could inflame her, a word she might deem devoid of controversy could wound me. We're human beings and we're struggling to figure life out, no matter how convinced we are of our convictions or how sensitive we have become to their rationale. And that's still why showing up in relationship is going to be what continues to matter.