Summer's over

Adventures in setting off the fire alarm

I made an omelet.

Yes.

Just yes.

Thought Provoking Question: 8 of 25

This is a great question, and I don't know where to begin, so I'm just going to go for it.

I am trying these days to love with my whole heart. For me, that means acting out of love instead of fear in general, being more open and more vulnerable, and responding in love.

So, in a coffee shop, I act out of love when I scoot over to make space for another customer or offer a smile to a stranger. I try to be happy in traffic. I realize we are all fighting hard battles, and that my problems, in the grand scheme of things, are really so, so small, that if I can give a hand to others, I will do so in the midst of my own life. I pray for those I have not met when I feel called to do so. I smile when people are kind to one another and I witness it, I let myself feel that love passing through our communities.

With family, I try to love in honesty. I try to be authentic so that those who are closest to me and have done the most for me can actually know the person I am.

With friends, I've been trying so much more to reciprocate. I used to not initiate plans with friends for fear of rejection. Now, I embrace the idea of rejection as sometimes inevitable, not all that personal, and something necessary if I also want to experience the joy and comfort of acceptance. Here I also try to be genuine; I want my friends to know I see them as equals and peers who I can relate to when there is something they find funny, sad, scary or nuts.

I try not to mind about the little things, to give second chances, and to realize that the love I share in relationships is ultimately the love given so freely to me by a universal and infinite God who never runs out of patience with me. I try to love as God loves me and as I would like to be loved at my worst, not just my best.

I also try to love myself. I believe that self-respect and love is fundamental to being able to love others wholeheartedly. So I try to be gentle with myself and pass that one to the world around me.

I think that by working to cultivate attitudes and behaviors of love in little ways all the time, I am most likely to give back the abundance of love I've received by those I'm closest to and strangers who are friends I've yet to meet alike.

Worth Supporting

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/jensiebelnewsom/the-mask-you-live-in

Class

"Class is an aura of confidence that is being sure without being cocky. Class has nothing to do with money. Class never runs scared. It is self-discipline and self-knowledge. It's the sure-footedness that comes with having proved you can meet life."

- Ann Landers

Reblog: http://myeducationandours.blogspot.com/2009/12/pursuit-of-classyness.html

Because it's Wednesday

...And that means WCS day at Fire&Ice in Cambridge...so I feel like...

...more of my new woman crush Melissa Rutz:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Nq0Y2_l1Ds&feature=c4-overview&list=UUQ_ytOVc0tuDj9A11r_ocbA

This stuff makes me unreasonable happy.

Oz

I have nearly a full week of vacation with:

No real travel
No real entertaining
No real plans.

So naturally, I am a real mess.

Wish me luck as I follow the yellow brick road of leisure time.

Can't stop

http://youtu.be/Qdv4zOYGB0w

http://youtu.be/4t3-ySmh3Mo

I hope you'll check out these videos of what has taken over my heart in these past few weeks: dance.

Particularly west coast swing, which I first saw at Ryles Jazz Club being informally showcased by two people I will dub "the sexiest couple ever," or SCE for short. There is Jay Z & Beyonce, there's JT & Jess Biel, and then there is SCE, who double-handedly inspired me to learn WCS.

SCE includes tall gentleman with ball cap, t-shirt and ripped jeans, and lady with black bob and full sleeve of tattoos. If you've seen them (you will be able to spot them by their sheer sexiness), let me know - I've got a major couple crush and I'd like to awkwardly tell them so.

The videos above are also inspirations. The latter is a lovely imitation of what I saw that night at Ryles, and why I needed to learn to do this thing. If you don't find that pleasant to watch, we probably wouldn't understand each other well.

The former is just the best of the best, and was provided as an example of "play" on the WCS dance floor. What is so incredible about it, in addition to the level of dancing in general, is that the whole thing is completely improvised. I am in awe.

Let us remember that people are awesome

  

http://www.viralnova.com/cancer-patients-pizza-party/

Making what one thinks the world needs

I post because I am interested and think you will be too.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-seed/bo-bartlett_b_3595973.html?utm_hp_ref=tw

"I want to be earnest, almost to the point of being embarrassed."

"We are all original; we can't help but be. The question is: how afraid are we to be ourselves?"

Guided by a beating heart

...and I didn't know I was lost...

Happy birthday, Madiba.

"I have fought against white domination and I have fought against black domination. I have carried the ideal of a democratic and free society in which all persons live together in harmony and with equal opportunity. It is an ideal which I hope to live for and to achieve. But, if needs be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die."

Get, hate, ask, pray

I get that fear and outrage both outside of and especially within black and other minority communities make sense with the loss of Trayvon Martin and the acquittal of George Zimmerman.

I hate that a young man was killed and the circumstances around his death. (http://tinyurl.com/o6hy3sy)

I ask for a peace which transcends all understanding, to guard our hearts and our minds and to allow us to seek love in the midst of confusion and anger.

I pray...

...that it's love, more than any other emotion or force, that compels me recognize and call injustice what it is.

...that I will have the courage to confront and change my own thoughts, words and actions when they are unjust.

...to let it start with me.

...to have hope in the middle of hurt.

“In order to be effective, all of our actions, all of our organizing, all of our conversations have to flow from a consistent ethic of forgiveness.” - John Lewis

This just in

From my colleagues.

You know it's July when...

Quizical Five Years Later

Remember December 2008? 

I do (http://myeducationandours.blogspot.com/2008/12/quizical.html), and I finally have my answer:

Thought Provoking Question: 7 of 25

Oh yes.

Remember in February when my already self-absorbed personal space - this blog - got even more me-centric?

I mentioned then that I was "about" movement, which is true. This started to develop in me just several years ago, at least as I recall it. I doubled back on my Myers-Briggs inventory in 2010 when I became perplexed by all the physical activities and senses in which I was becoming increasingly more interested (For that revelation, see this. Really, my whole life circa 2008-present is here.).

When the good old M-B said that, for my specific personality type (INTJ), I would go through stages including a midlife shift to being more sense-oriented, my former post indicates that I was a little freaked out. I mean, I've always wanted to be "deep," to look below the surface, to seek God and the unexplainable, and to think big thoughts. Also, I've considered myself tragically uncoordinated for a long, long time. The material world of aesthetics and athletics didn't seem like something I should want to engage in further. It seemed shallow to me, unattainable and undesirable, and I was relunctant to embrace it. I was probably the shallow one. Fortunately, the senses would embrace me.

After my sophomore year in college, my artistic and athletic pursuits really dwindled. After a lifetime of creating, I was left with expressing myself through two fairly basic channels - interior decorating and design, primarily fueled the seven moves I've dealt with between then and now, and running, primarily for health and fitness.

If I'm brutally honest, I lost some of my zest for being an imperfect creator of stuff back in high school too, when I warmed the bench on my field hockey team and didn't get cast in a spring musical freshman year. That rejection hurt me, and I recoiled from it by doing more "industrious," less creative things with my time. Between middle school and the working world, I lost my confidence with creating and my opinion that it was worthwhile.

By 2010, what really sparked my return to my senses was preparing for major surgery. Surgery reminded me of several things, conscious or subconsciously - 1) My body and how I feel is vitally important, 2) I am mortal, 3) I am vulnerable and capable of becoming weaker and stronger, 4) I get to make choices about how I employ myself and my body during this lifetime.

At that point, I started focusing on yoga a lot, something I did very casually in high school, and even more casually throughout college. This amazing Ph.D. student in my grad school department, now sponsored by Underarmor, actually spurred me in this direction.

Shauna is frickin' amazing.

She offered a free yoga class to her colleagues which I attended, and it was hard. We all know I love the surprisingly challenging stuff in this world. So with a body and spirit to prepare for surgery, and some really healthy role modeling, I began a consistent yoga practice. I wholeheartedly believe yoga aligned my soul for the surgery and gave me a way to retain my sense of personal power during a time of uncertainty.

Next came snowboarding, to which I credit Boston's cold and the awesomeness that will always be Shaun White.

Really no competition.

I watched the winter Olympics where he won his second half-pipe title while I was recuperating from kidney surgery and made my decision right there. It's been three winter seasons and I've talked about the innumerable benefits of the sport on this blog several times. Snowboarding makes me feel free, strong, independent and happy. I am often scared when I go snowboarding, a healthy fear followed by exhilaration, joy and appreciation for nature. Plus, it keeps me warm. Huge plus.

Running in 2011 to present has given me a sense of community. As I've credited my best friend Katie in the past, I can do so again, running with her binds us together.

My girl Kate lacing up before our half-marathon.

Running also makes me feel like I can do anything, and my fellow runners, in Boston especially, are sojourning super heroes and best friends, many of whom I'll never know well, but all of whom share a common, collective power.

Then came painting. I started painting oils again after my breakup with Steve. I needed a place to zone out, to express pain that was inexpressible, and to exhibit power without taking anything out on anyone. Sure, I kept running. But in painting I found a movement that could wait for the right movement, that could sit down with me, that could feel with me instead of merely let me release my feelings. My favorite oil from that time, which lasted a few months, is still the first one I painted - a violet. It's kind of tacky in a belongs-in-a-coffee-shop kind of way, but I remember what I felt when I painted it and I remember the coldness, the darkness of the night when I needed to be in those moments with who I was.

And now, lately. My New Year's resolution was to do one thing each day that scared me. "We all know I love the surprisingly challenging stuff..." I'm happy to report that while I don't always remember my resolution, I am out there making it happen more days than not. This year, I began singing for people again. Lots of people, in languages I do not know, using styles and techniques that are new to me, and for fun.

VoH. We sing and it feels good.

"For fun," like "for the sake of the senses," would have been a dirty little phrase to me a few years back. Not anymore - I need, want, and deserve "for fun," we all do. Singing like this is work, mark my words, but I did it because it was something that brings me joy and it was a talent I was under utilizing.

And now, drum roll, I've apparently been hugged up by dancing. Not the really bad dancing that I do in my office with the door closed after everyone's gone home, but ballroom, Latin and swing dancing in public. This got started I don't even really know how, and I love it. Like running, there is a community to dancing, and a great one full of interesting people in Boston. For this still organizational-nut, there is also rhythm and order and ritual to dancing. There's also a lot of spinning and laughing, if you are a formally really bad dancer like me. For the woman who sometimes wishes there was snow outside, dancing offers me the same element of physicality that snowboarding does; when I get really into it, I feel free and not necessarily beautiful, but surrounded by beauty.

So lately, I'll remember how in the summer of 2013, I took up dancing. For real. And for fun.

Populating

This is in part what I mean when I say it is not how many people we have on earth, but how we treat the people we have on earth, that matters for the survival of our species:

http://www.rwjf.org/en/blogs/new-public-health/2013/07/commission_to_build.html?cid=XEM_A7340

And some Boston love

This morning I am going on a run with the secret agents of Boston running, otherwise known as the Llamas or The Most Informal Running Club Ever.

This is an attempt to get more communal with my running, and, truth be told, find some way to trick myself into keeping it up after the marathon in October, when I'll retire my 12-year-old Adidas shoes and declare myself in need of proving nothing ((running-wise)) to no one.

I saw these guys at the Tufts 10K and think they're great. Also, they run and then eat. They're my kind of people.

I also saw this on their website and it made me tear up.

I love our city.

And now I must write about this

First, I'll point out that I'm always hard pressed to find things in this world that I think about in black and white terms. Perhaps most notably, I'm not wholly convinced time exists. More than that, I get that my opinions needn't be "right"...and that others needn't be wrong to make my thoughts valid enough. I especially feel this way about issues like race, religion, class, gender, etc. With that:

Blurred Lines.

The beat is fun. I feel like I'm listening to Millenium Funk Party all over again, with a tempo-ed up, pitched down Ohio Player or two.

The music videos are also fun, whimsical, the one with the clothes more so. The director of the videos calls them meta, Mr. Thicke purports he's existential, but I think everyone's just being a clown. Pretty clowns in a circus, inspired by over-sized and shiny things plus topless photography. This is all okay with me - as social science research icon Brené Brown might point out, as adults, we too have to play.

Some of the lyrics are different. While the title of the song, confounded by the album title and the song's lyrical content, is going to be deemed anything from benign and honest to insulting and dangerous depending on interpretation, it's undeniable that, overall, the lyrics take an extreme power position in favor of men.

There's no point in comparing these lyrics to those in any other song; this is an original creation, and it can stand on its own to critique. Here the female video director goes ahead and calls the words misogynistic, but not sexist. Another place I can be clear is in my disagreement with her - it is impossible for something to be misogynistic without being sexist. The actual silliness of the videos and even the frivolity of the beat, which I like, are compensating for often demeaning, controlling lyrics, clouded in a guise of silliness. Some these words/string of words are truly offensive, objectifying, and/or imbalanced ("Just let me liberate you"/"You the hottest bitch in this place"/"Yeah, had a bitch"/"I'll give you something big enough to tear your ass in two"/"So I just watch and wait for you to salute the truly pimping"). All sung in a very cutesy way.

Overall, I feel the best term for the lyrics is chauvinist. Michael Korda describes male chauvinism as "blind allegiance and simple minded devotion to one's maleness that is mixed with open or disguised belligerence toward women. It is also usually associated with an unconscious ritual to ward off anxiety engendered by these same women (emphasis added)." The fact that this associated and unconscious anxiety-based ritual is being written up in the lyrics and dolled/dressed up by beat and videos is reinforced in my mind by Robin Thicke when he retweets Pharrell's quote of François Truffaut (did I just write that?): "In love, women are professionals, men are amateurs."

Mostly, honestly, I listen to the few lyrics I like plus the melody, and I hope I forget the rest. There's a tension to this. To me, the only way to see the lyrics to this song with any dignity is to view the whole of this work as a parody of anxious, aroused men provoking false notions of power concerning the women about whom they fantasize, and women who are truly provoking their own equally-false notions of coyness. The these sentiments are engaged with very playfully, and I find myself being simultaneously being happy and sad about it. I can be happy that flirtation is part of the dance of romance, and I can be sad that we live in a world of extreme sex-and-gender stereotyping.

Other things I feel I can do as I listen to this song this summer: I can also want Robin to apologize for his egregiously flippant - and just plain egregious - comments about the pleasure of degrading a woman, I can sigh at people who don't get why feminists are upset (by the way, reading through comments sections is my personal standard of hell), and I can understand that it's mostly about making money.

Preferably, I can to all of this while dancing.

Of course I'm a feminist

Warning: This whole post has no thesis.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2013/jul/03/ellen-page-interview-the-east

I've liked seeing this article around the internet recently, and that both Feminist Frequency and MissRepresentation have brought it to light.

I like EP's youth, her willingness to say what's on her mind without a plan or agenda, and I like the fact that she's a feminist!

I find myself talking about feminism here more than I would think, not because I intend to, but because this stuff comes up all the time. Whether it's....are women allowed to play video games, or speak, or be ugly, or be mad, or walk down the street, or disagree with one another, or be here?, gender issues are some of the most alive issues on the planet. So I keep bringing this stuff up, because this is the place where I do that, and this stuff just keeps coming up.

While I boil my own ideas down, it comes to this for me - My connection to God and my ability to  know that my worthiness comes from God makes me a feminist. I am worthy, not because of my gender, or what society prescribes for me, but because of who I am in my Creator. It's as clear as that, and it's as rebellious and as counter-culture as that, I suppose.

So, when Ellen says, "...If I played those other kinds of roles I would just die a slow death," I am right there with her. I am not my true self when I don't love myself as a woman, love other women for being themselves,and want a world to be shaped by both sexes and by those who don't affiliate on a binary. I die to the God who created me as I am when I don't bring my womanliness to bear on situations, or when I accept less than respect for anyone out there based on sex or sexuality. It's so simple, but it gets pretty deep pretty quick, because being a feminist does mean maintaining self-identity and basic respect in a world ruled by other things.

One of the main problems I hear in Beyonce and others' responses to feminism, or the new feminism, is answered by Page - "People always attribute being a feminist to hating girls being sexual, and that's not it at all." I felt like I was reacting to this when I wrote about Miss America and Legally Blonde, Clueless and Pretty Woman (great movies) way back when. We all at times want to say we're feminists or we believe in equality, but...

But what? But I love my husband? But I love men? But I shop at Victoria's Secret? My personal insecurities would perhaps bring out the phrase, "But I love feeling womanly, feminine and protected by men." I do. That's true. It's just not mutually exclusive of my feminism, and it says nothing my ability or lack of ability to protect myself, express what masculine features I might have, or toggle back and forth at times.

I'd love to agree that this is all a U.S. problem, but we all know it's absolutely not. This is a people problem. This is an - experiencing issues with strangers, colleagues, friends, family, media, doctors, all human institutions and self-perception - problem. Ultimately, feminism is both alive and well, growing in ways it wasn't in the 60's-70's, and in a heap of trouble at the same time. My only recourse is to be authentic to the core about it. And to keep bringing it up.

Stuff that makes me happy

"Physical Fitness in Youth Curbs Suicide Risk in Later Life"

http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/80721

 

...Because I blindly assume that I'm still in my "youth," and willfully ignore any signs to the contrary.

At any rate, let's keep moving. The study cites heightened belongingness and increased coping skill reserves as some of the adjunct benefits to exercising just to look and feel good.

And even if none of that's true, now that I've kicked my coffee habit, endorphin dependence is all I've got left.

Yes, this is funny

http://www.motherjones.com/media/2013/06/congress-bros-vs-hipsters

But, and I know I sound old, how is this helping us run the free world effectively?

Sheesh.

Back

Back from vacation. Already feeling more productive in the last 30 minutes than I'd been in the prior two weeks before celebrating the fourth with family and friends.

Already reading stuff like this and getting all excitable about it:

 What they found is a correlation between a high rate of diagnosis and state laws that penalize school districts if not enough students pass standardized tests. While all public schools face financial pressures to improve test scores since No Child Left Behind was passed in 2001, some 30 states had passed similar laws before them, and those correlate very strongly with states that have high rates of ADHD diagnosis and medication.

It's the researcher's mind in me. Apparently reading in a reclined position in the sun, taking pictures, dancing, and eating lots and lots and lots and lots of food doesn't completely do it for me. I need data, people. Explore more here:

http://childhealthdata.org/browse/allregions?q=2482